I'm not feelin' the Final Fantasy V remake that'll soon be released for smartphones and tablets

Warning: this may wind up being one of those cranky, "get off my lawn!" kind of posts, so you may want to come back later in the day (when I'll publish another post) if that sort of thing bothers you.

For the rest of you: a few days ago, the folks at Square Enix finally pulled back the proverbial curtain on the iOS (and, eventually, Android) remake of Final Fantasy V that they announced late last year.

Specifically, they released a number of screenshots of this re-imagining, one of which can be seen below.



Sadly, it seems Square Enix's designers once again are employing the rather generic art style they used while developing the Final Fantasy I, II and IV remakes that were released for the PSP over the last few years.

That's not to suggest I hate everything about the screenshot seen above (or the one below, or the others that can be viewed here). In fact, I love that the people behind this version have decided to add character portraits to the game's dialogue scenes. Also, I have to admit that the menus in this release look quite a bit better than those found in, say, last year's Final Fantasy Dimensions.

Oh, and for some strange reason I'm finding myself oddly attracted to the Lenna-as-White-Mage sprite included in the screen below.



Other than that, though, I'm feeling pretty let down by this particular remake, which will hit the Japanese App Store on March 28 for 1,800 yen (about $19--it'll hit the equivalent Android shop sometime this summer). The character sprites--Bartz/Butz, especially--make me want to yawn, while the enemies and backdrops appear to have been pulled right out of this title's GameBoy Advance counterpart.

Of course, you're looking at a guy who'd rather play the original Super Famicom version of Final Fantasy V than any gussied-up remake--unless said remake was made for the 3DS using the Bravely Default engine (ahem)--so maybe you should take my grumblings with a grain of salt.

That's just my opinion on the matter, though. What do all of you think?

'No matter what happens to you ...'

While we're on the topic of Final Fantasy's white mage, this androgynous character is the subject of a cute Valentine's Day card that's being sold by etsy seller kiracards.

The front of the card features the white mage's "perished" sprite and the following words: "No matter what happens to you..."

Flip it open and here's what you find:



My favorite aspect of this particular card is that it's appropriate for anyone. If you're a gay man and you want to give it to your same-sex sweetie, for instance, you imagine that the white mage is a guy. If you're a lesbian, on the other hand, you imagine that both the black and white mages are ladies. And if you're straight? Why, you imagine the white mage is a guy and the black mage is a gal (or the opposite, if you want), of course.

Who's to stop you?

(Via gonintendo.com)

So, is the white mage in the first Final Fantasy a he or a she?

How's this for a pointless question: Is the white mage in the original Final Fantasy a he or a she?

I've always assumed the white mage is a she, mainly because I consider the character's pre-class change sprite (below left) to be on the feminine side. I recently came across a few comments on line, though, that suggested the white mage must be a he due to the more masculine appearance of the white wizard sprite (below right).

Those broad shoulders don't necessarily mean the white wizard/mage is a he, though, do they? I mean, we're talking about one member of a four-person party that's been tasked with saving the world--you'd think such a person, whether male or female, would have to buff up a bit beforehand, wouldn't you?

As such, I'm sticking with my initial opinion that the white mage in Final Fantasy is a she. That's just my opinion, though; what's yours?