Handre De Jager's BurgerTime

When Data East's BurgerTime was ported to the NES in 1985, its box art looked like this:

South African illustrator, animator, 3D modeler and digital music composer Handre De Jager thinks it should have looked more like the image below, given "the [often] inaccurate nature of 80's and early 90's video game cover art."

Although I can't say I agree entirely--mainly because I'm pretty fond of the box art we ended up with--I also can't say I dislike De Jager's illustration.

That said, it is a bit frightening, isn't it? Honestly, I'm not sure which aspect scares me more: The hot dog, the pickle or the egg.

(Thanks to Twitter user Alchemlx for turning me on to this creation.)

What does it say about me that the first thing I noticed about this photo was that these guys are playing a Dreamcast game?

I mean, it's great that they have visible abs, nice enough legs and an acceptable taste in underwear, but what I really want to see is: Which Dreamcast game are they playing?

I'm guessing it's something "typical" like SoulCaliber or Dead or Alive 2. They'd earn my undying respect, though, if it were ChuChu Rocket! or even one of the Power Stone titles.

Via videogamesmademegay.tumblr.com)

Is this 3DS game's heath bar really made up of little butts?

If so, I think I've just found my next "must have" title.

Granted, it's extremely doubtful the game in question--Dangerous Jii-san Jya, which is based on the popular Coro Coro Comics "gag manga" that's known as "Grandpa Danger" in the West--will be released in North America, so I guess I'll have buy a Japanese 3DS (or 3DS LL) if I want to play it.



Normally my reaction to such a suggestion (yes, even if I made the suggestion to myself) would be, "yeah, right," but in this case I'm not so sure. I mean, not only does Dangerous Jii-san Jya (teaser trailer here) appear to include a health bar made up of little rumps, but it also seems to feature some sort of "butt blast attack" (see screenshot above) and a character that's basically a pile of poo with muscular arms and legs.

I'm also pretty fond of the Egyptian samurai with a pair of underwear covering his eyes that can be seen here.



As for when this daringly disgusting 3DS game will hit store shelves in Japan: Sadly, I'm not sure, although andriasang.com suggests it'll happen sometime "this winter."

Woe is my wallet should Dangerous Jii-san Jya sport a compelling cover illustration.

(Via andriasang.com)

More bullets, more buff dudes, more ... butts?

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A somewhat gay review of Sugar Shooter (PC)

This downloadable (for Windows-enabled PCs) title, developed by the folks at Dudedle Studio, is/was my first run-in with a bullet-hell shoot 'em up, and you know what? I enjoyed it so much that I'm eagerly awaiting my second such experience. Granted, Sugar Shooter isn't a run-of-the-mill bullet-hell shoot 'em up (or shmup, as they're often called)--rather, it's a boss-rush, bullet-hell shmup that's squarely aimed at the bara-loving set.

To those of you scratching your heads at any or all of the aforementioned "b" words (bara, boss-rush and bullet-hell), hopefully the following infor- mation will straighten things out: Sugar Shooter stars a beefy, gay prince named Satan (hmmm), who is tasked with protecting his precious Sugar Kingdom from a quartet of similarly studly baddies. (They're where the bara, or "Men's Love," aspect of the game comes into play, by the way.)



One by one, these baddies--backed by a bombastic, guitar-laden soundtrack and led by a bloke named Lord Sugarless--assault Satan with wave after wave of beautiful bullets. (Hence the genre's name: bullet-hell.) Satan isn't powerless against said bullets thanks to his "Dessert Ring" (hmmm again), which transforms oncoming projectiles into candy and increases the prince's "Sugar Level." Increasing the prince's Sugar Level accomplishes two things: 1) It enhances his base attack and 2) It allows him to perform a "Sugar Burst," which not only destroys everything within a certain distance of the prince but destroys his opponent's armor, too. That's important because you have to destroy an opponent's armor before defeat- ing them in order to see the best (i.e., most X-rated) ending scenes.

All of this is controlled with the left button on your mouse, by the way. Click it once to unleash Satan's auto-firing "Chocolate Gun" (hmmm for a third time) and click it again to stop attacking and start using his "Dessert Ring." You also click, hold and then release your mouse's left button to enter "Sugar Rush" mode, and then click it one last time to use Satan's "Sugar Burst." It feels a little odd at first if you're used to playing shoot 'em ups with a directional pad and buttons, but it quickly becomes second nature.



Don't worry if all of the above sounds annoyingly confusing or convoluted; in action, it's surprisingly simple to understand. It's not so simple to master, though--as evidenced by the fact that it took me a good 20 tries to topple the fourth and final boss (Lord Sugarless) on the game's easiest setting.

I don't share that fairly embarrassing tidbit to scare folks away from giving Sugar Shooter a try. On the contrary, I think gaymers who enjoy shoot 'em ups--bullet-hell or otherwise--and have $14.99 to blow will get a kick out of this Dudedle Studio-developed title.

See also: Other 'somewhat gay' reviews

I think it's about time I played a bullet-hell shmup starring beefy boys in underwear (and, no, I'm not talking about Cho Aniki)

One of the reasons I'm not talking about the infamous Cho Aniki or any of its sequels in the headline above is that none of those Masaya-developed games are bullet-hell shoot 'em ups (or shmups). Another reason: Although Cho Aniki and its ilk feature plenty of beefy boys, none of them, as far as I'm aware (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), feature beefy boys who gradually lose their clothing as they're barraged by enemy bullets.

So, which game am I talking about in the headline above (and in this post)? Why, I'm talking about Sugar Shooter, a shareware PC game developed by the folks at Dudedle Studios.



Just in case "bullet-hell shmup featuring beefy boys in underwear" isn't detailed enough for you, here's the developer's official description of the game: "Sugar Shooter is an erotic shoot’em up game! Taking control of Satan-kun, the prince of the Sweet Kingdom and protect your world from being eaten by the invaders. Beat them and make them pay for they’ve done to your kingdom!"

If none of the above--including that strangely alluring screenshot--makes a lick of sense to you, maybe you should watch the following trailer for the game. (Warning: Neither character winds up naked at the end of the video.)



For more information on Sugar Shooter or any of Dudedle Studio's other games--one of which is a sequel to Sugar Shooter--check out the company's website at dudedlestudio.com.

(Via the completely-not-safe-for-work baragamer.com)

Is that a banana in your pocket, Elza, or are you just happy to see me?

Mistwalker's Hironobu Sakaguchi showed off his soon-to-be-released Wii RPG, The Last Story, during a special presentation (in Japan) earlier today.

The best part of said presentation: Sakaguchi, the creator of the Final Fantasy series, showed how players will be able to strip their on-screen counterparts down to their skivvies.

Below, for instance, is the game's buff protagonist, Elza, sporting nothing but a pair of square-cut briefs:



Should I pick up The Last Story (assuming it's released in the States, of course), I'll probably force Elza to traipse around Ruli City, the game's only town, in his tighty whities--or, in this case, tighty olivies--for at least a little while.

(Via andriasang.com)

So, where can I get a pair?

I'm not at all embarrassed to admit I'd rock the sexy skivvies seen in the photo below--if I could find a pair in my size.

Yeah, I know they're supposed to be for the ladies, but it's important for a guy (especially a gay one) to fully embrace his feminine side now and then, don't you think?

(Via thekartel.com)

Xenoblade just moved up a few spots on my 'most wanted' list

You've heard of Xenoblade, right? Don't be embarrassed if you haven't--although the folks at Nintendo surreptitiously unveiled this Monolith Soft-developed RPG during last year's E3 event (it was called Monado: Beginning of the World at that point), they didn't say much about it until a few months ago.

So, why has it moved up a few spots on my "most wanted" list? I think I'd rather show you than tell you.



Yep, the image above shows two of Xenoblade's main characters in their underwear (or are those supposed to be swimsuits?). (If you prefer the ladies to the gents, here's a pair of screenshots that show two of the game's female characters in their skivvies.)

Now, I'd be lying if I told you those images turn me on, but I wouldn't be lying if I told you I'd get a kick out of controlling a half-naked character (or two) in an open-world RPG.

(Via NeoGAF)