Manual Stimulation: Kitchen Panic (GameBoy)

After perusing this recent post and this one, too, you couldn't help but wonder if Kitchen Panic's instruction manual could possibly compare to its packaging, could you?

Hey, I understand. I wondered the same thing myself after I first came across this obscure-ish, Japan-only GameBoy title.

So, what's the verdict? Have a look and tell me yourself.



The front and back covers (above) of Kitchen Panic's manual may be my favorite part of the whole she-bang thanks to the fact that its designers made them ape the look of the original GameBoy hardware.



Next up is the game's backstory, which of course I don't understand. I am pretty fond of the rather touching illustration of its protagonist embracing a woman I presume to be his mother.



A description of Kitchen Panic's controls. Not very visually stimulating, I agree, but this kind of thing was pretty par for the course back then so I'll give the folks responsible this booklet a pass.



Oh, hey, a screenshot of the game's title screen. I'm not sure what else is detailed on that particular page, though, I'm sorry to say. I believe the right-hand page, on the other hand, covers Kitchen Panic's "rules."

The Great Gaymathon Review #67: Kitchen Panic (GameBoy)

Game: Kitchen Panic

Genre: Action

Developer: Bits Laboratory

Publisher: Coconuts Japan

System: GameBoy

Release date: 1991

Let's not beat around the bush--or maybe I should say blender--here: if Kitchen Panic were edible rather than playable, it would be a McDonald's Happy Meal instead of a four-course meal from a three-star restaurant.

That's not me saying this Japan-only GameBoy title deserves to be dumped in the trash along with the spoiled leftovers, by the way. On the contrary, it's actually a pretty cute, "enjoyable enough" little game--just don't look for it to blow you away. And for crying out loud, don't go dropping a wad of cash on it (unless you're one of those crazy collector-types, of course). Go into it with the right expectations, though, and I think you'll have a reasonably good time.

As for what you'll be doing during that "reasonably good time," well, you'll be running around kitchen-themed levels of various sizes--they start off taking up a single screen but quickly grow to many times that--spraying insects of all sorts (cockroaches, mosquitos, worms and more) with Raid until a door appears and whisks you off to another one.

If that sounds less than totally thrilling, well, I can't blame you. Kitchen Panic is, after all, a pretty basic experience. Still, it all becomes kind of enjoyable after you've spent a bit of time with it. Also, the slightest smidge of depth enters the fray when you discover that the sun-, star- and moon-branded blocks that seem to randomly appear (I haven't figured out what prompts them to pop up, at least) after killing certain insects can be pushed together to boost your health, allow you to become invincible and more.

Toss into the mix a couple of bonus stages and boss fights, and you've got yourself an arcade-style action game that's sort of repetitive but also sort of fun--and sports some rather nice "cart art," if I do say so myself.

See also: some photos of Kitchen Panic's packaging, scans of its entire instruction manual, plus previous 'Great Gaymathon' reviews

If only the gameplay in Kitchen Panic (GameBoy) were as awesome as its box art

Oh, don't get me wrong--the gameplay in Kitchen Panic, a rather unheralded Japan-only GameBoy title that was released all the way back in 1991, isn't completely terrible. I also wouldn't describe it as overly appealing, though, which is a bit of a shame given the effort put into its colorful box art.

Oh, well, you can't always have everything, can you? And at least in the case of this portable action game--which was developed by Bits Laboratory and published by Coconuts Japan--we got a pretty ace cover illustration out of the deal.

We also got a surprisingly adorable manual out of it. As you hopefully can see in the photos above and below, the front and back covers of Kitchen Panic's instruction manual are supposed to resemble the corresponding surfaces of an actual GameBoy.

Now, don't take all of this yammering to mean that everything other than Kitchen Panic's box and manual art is completely without merit. In fact, some of its spritework is pretty darn nice, and its gameplay is of the accessibly arcade-y sort that only can be found in a title of this era.



Just don't spend an arm and a leg on a copy of it, OK? In fact, before you spend even a dime on it I'd highly recommend taking it for a test drive via emulation. After that, if you're still interested in it and if you've got the means to play it, pick up a loose cart on the cheap.

See also: my 'Great Gaymathon' review of Kitchen Panic and scans of its entire instruction manual