Looks like Pokémon Black and White 2 will be just as gay (literally) as their predecessors

Those of you who have been visiting this little, rainbow-splashed slice of the Internet may remember a post I published just over a year ago. It's headline: "There's something about Brycen (or, Pokémon Black is pretty gay, isn't it?)."

In that post, I rather cheekily suggested that Pokémon Black and White--or, more specifically, a number of those game's gym leaders--were gayer than the Golden Girls dressing up as Cher, Judy, Lady Gaga and Madonna and singing a mash-up of "I Will Survive" and "YMCA" (hey, it could happen) at Elton John's Halloween party. (Yes, I know I just dated myself with that remark.)

Thanks in large part to this recent post over at the Video Games Made Me Gay tumblog, I'm getting the distinct impression that Pokémon Black Version 2 and Pokémon White Version 2 will be just as gay.

What makes me think Shizui (right), one of this sequel's many gym leaders, is gay, you ask? Well, for starters, there's his glitter-covered coiffure. And then there's his broad shoulders, shaved bod and fashion-forward (not to mention skintight) trousers.

Granted, that nasty tan line around Shizui's waist is a bit questionable, as is his lack of nipples (aren't those, um, a requirement?), but I still think he's likely "gayer than a three-dollar bill," as my mom used to say. (Don't worry, I got her to stop long ago.)

Anyway, all of the above really is just a long way of me saying that I'll be plopping down my hard-earned cash on Pokémon Black 2 (or maybe Pokémon White 2) as soon as someone allows me to pre-order it.

There's something about Brycen (or, Pokémon Black is pretty gay, isn't it?)

And by gay, I don't mean dumb or lame. I mean literally gay. At the very least, the game's gym leaders seem to be a rainbow-flag-waving bunch.

The thought didn't cross my mind until I encountered the Icirrus City gym leader, Brycen. What caused me to think he may be gay? Well, there's his name, for starters--which is bested in terms of gayness only by "Crys." Then there's the fact that he's obsessed with strength and working out. Finally, he likes masks and über trendy clothing.

Your gaydar is going off now, too, isn't it?

Brycen isn't the only seemingly gay gym leader in Nintendo's oh-so-popular RPG. Drayden (right), Opelucid City's gym leader, seems to be a "friend of Dorothy," too, if you get my drift. (Nudge nudge, wink wink.)

Honestly, how could Drayden--with his fabulously-coifed hair, broader-than-a-lumberjack's shoulders and perfectly-fitted clothes--not be gay? Like Brycen, he has a fairly gay name. Also, he looks a lot like Anderson Cooper--and everyone knows which way he swings.

Granted, Drayden's facial hair is a bit questionable--it covers up his mouth, for crying out loud--but I'm sure the right man could convince him to shave it. After that, he could very well be the perfect catch--assuming you like silver daddy-ish types, of course.

Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe all of the gym leaders in Pokémon Black and White are gay. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if they were, especially given the game's emphasis on diversity. Lenora's got a definite butch-ness about her, for instance, and Burgh has that whole androgynous hipster thing going on. Oh, and Clay is a bear--no ifs, ands or buts about it.

Elesa and Skyla (right) aren't as obviously or superficially gay (or bi or transgender), but that doesn't mean they don't love the ladies. I mean, Elesa easily could be a lipstick lesbian, or she could have been born a boy, and Skyla could be one of those oh-so-earnest baby dykes (sorry for using that phrase, ladies--I couldn't think of better one) we all know and love.

Of course, it's completely possible I'm just off my rocker. It certainly wouldn't be the first--or, sadly, the last--time that could be said about me.

Note: My tongue was planted firmly in cheek while writing this post.