Haggar the whore-ible (or, enjoying the carnal pleasures of the sexy, gay, Final Fight-esque brawler, Strange Flesh)

I don't often write about "adult" games here.

Of course, I don't often play such games, either, and that's not because I'm a prude or because I otherwise turn my nose up at them.

Actually, I love playing games that titillate--especially if that titillation is aimed at the LGBT community.



Unfortunately, few games featuring content that's both adult and gay ever ping my radar. Besides the one discussed here, the only others that have done so in recent years are the steamy visual novel, Coming Out on Top, and the surprisingly sexy bullet-hell shmup, Sugar Shooter. (I've also written about the beef-tastic JRPG called Ana Holic!, but I've yet to play it.)

Given all of the above, it shouldn't be surprising to hear I was more than a bit excited when I first became aware of Strange Flesh (via this eye-opening--not to mention NSFW--teaser image) just before its release in late October.

At least, I was excited until I discovered the game was an old-school beat 'em up in the same vein as Double Dragon, Final Fight, Golden Axe, River City Ransom--you know the drill.

You see, although I've long been intrigued by side-scrolling brawlers like the ones I just named, I've rarely enjoyed playing them. Or maybe I should say I've only enjoyed playing them to a point. A few stages in, I'm bored to tears and ready to tackle something--anything--else.



Still, I decided to give Strange Flesh a chance. An hour or so later, I walked away. Not because I'd grown tired of it, as I seemingly always do with these kinds of games, but because I'd beaten it.

Granted, Strange Flesh only offers up four stages, so finishing it isn't the most noteworthy of accomplishments. I actually appreciated its brevity, though. Far too many games these days--free or otherwise--require you to dedicate hours upon hours to them. Encountering one that asks for about 45 minutes of your time is refreshing.

You know what else I found refreshing about Strange Flesh? Its graphics, soundtrack, and gameplay. All three components are so convincingly "late 1980s beat 'em up" it's hard not to be astounded by them.

Actually, that statement needs to be amended just a bit. After all, while the bulk of Strange Flesh acts, looks, and sounds like a game that came out alongside Golden Axe and Final Fight, neither of those quarter-munchers (nor any of their counterparts, as far as I'm aware) feature gameplay, graphics, or music that could be considered "adult."



Strange Flesh, on the other hand, is full of such content. Hell, you'll see something eyebrow-raising every few steps as you play through this PC game. (Download it or launch its browser version at greatestbear.com.)

After you punch, kick, and tackle the game's "figments" and "projections" (all of the action here takes place in the player's mind), you, uh, "finish them off," too--and you do so in various ways that would make most moms blush, or worse.

Speaking of which, a little disclaimer: if regularly witnessing pixelated depictions of gay sex (some of which are kinkier than others) turns you off, you should stay far away from Strange Flesh.

Which isn't to say that's all there is to this title. The core gameplay is both smooth and satisfying, even when controlled via keyboard-button presses. (Note: this is how I played through Strange Flesh. Three times.) In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if Strange Flesh were fornication-free, it would be well worth a look by all fans of the genre.



As things stand, though, it's hard to give it a blanket recommendation. Although I'm sure some straight folks will get a kick out of it, many more likely will find it disgusting or distasteful. I have the feeling the same could be said of a sizable portion of the LGBT community.

Still, I can't be the only person in the world who finds the idea of playing a pervy, gay Double Dragon clone thrilling. To anyone who feels similarly, I say: give Strange Flesh a try.

See also: Strange Flesh's spot-on instruction manual

Dear Marvelous: make a gay version of Uppers (Vita) and I'll gladly buy two copies

I know there's no real chance that what I'm suggesting here will happen, but I'm going to suggest it anyway.

After all, I can't imagine there are many male gay gamers out there who wouldn't like to see and play a same-sex version of the following over-the-top beat 'em up.

Granted, I'm not calling for the folks at Marvelous, led by Senran Kagura producer Kenichiro Takaki, to simply replace the ladies in Uppers, their upcoming Vita release, with men--which seemingly would mean a whole lot of scenes showing the game's muscly protagonists motorboating the pecs of their similarly manly onlookers.



Actually, I'd be fine if they did just that, but I'd prefer something a bit more creative. For example, they could give Uppers: Gay Edition a kind of worship-y vibe by having the aforementioned onlookers (who would be guys, just in case it needs to be repeated) squeeze the brawlers' muscles or even bury their faces in the studs' armpits.

What do you think? Am I alone in finding such a scenario appealing, or would some of you like to experience it, too? Or maybe you'd like to see something similar, but aimed at gay women? In that case, how would you want its content to differ from what's showcased in the trailer above?

Even if you don't agree with me and my idea, what is your opinion of the version of Uppers the world (Japan, in particular) will get in a few months? Do you think it's trashy and crass, or do you think it looks like childish fun?

It's hard to imagine a game called Fantastic Boyfriends being anything less than brilliant

I haven't played too many mobile games since I bought my first real smartphone a few months ago, but I'm planning to buy this one.

Of course, how could I not when it's called Fantastic Boyfriends: Legends of Midearth?

Also, it features all kinds of hot, burly men (of the manga variety, admittedly, but I'll take what I can get) and its translation is being worked on by a very good friend of mine, Chic Pixel's Anne Lee.



As for what Fantastic Boyfriends is beyond being a mobile game stuffed with hunks, well, the gist is that it combines elements of the RPG and dating-sim genres.

Sadly, the latter aspect appears to be more PG-rated than X-rated, but that's how it goes when you want your game to make it onto the Apple and Android app stores.

If that's acceptable to you, and you'd like to know more about Fantastic Boyfriends and maybe even throw a bit of monetary support behind it, head over to its Indiegogo page.



The game's developers, Lifewonders, are looking to garner $20,000 by the time the above-mentioned fundraising campaign ends in 30 days.

A note for those of you who may be riding the fence (as to whether or not to hand over a few bucks Fantastic Boyfriends' makers): this particular Indiegogo effort is of the "fixed funding" sort, which means that if it fails to reach its goal, all money will be returned to contributors.

What do you say? Are any of you planning to back this sucker? Or maybe you've already done so?

The gayest game ever?

For me to call it "the gayest ever," a game would have to include a great many components. For instance, it would have to include bodybuilders, divas (you know, like Lady Gaga or Madonna), frottage (at least), glitter, harness boots, jockstraps and show tunes.

Because Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals: Sing & Dance, which allows folks to sing and dance through 32 of the Tony Award-winning composer's classic tunes and is set to be released on Sept. 14, will include just two of the aforementioned components (maybe three--I'm not sure about the glitter), I can't call it "the gayest game ever" like the guy behind the Joe. My. God. blog did yesterday.



Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in reenacting the balcony scene from "Evita" while clutching my Wii Remote. (The real one, not the one some of you sickos are imagining.)

I'd be a lot more interested in Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals: Sing & Dance, though, if it featured a few bodybuilders shaking their moneymakers while wearing harness boots and jockstraps.

So, how would you 'translate the gay experience' into video games?

If you have a few minutes this morning, and if you're at all interested in the subject of gay characters and storylines in video games, you may want to check out an interesting article that was published at 1up.com yesterday.

The article in question, which was written by Cassandra Khaw, focuses on how designer, developer and writer Robert Yang thinks the "gay experience" can be translated into the gaming sphere.



A few choice quotes for those of you who may be unsure as to whether or not you want to click on the link above:

* Yang says one reason developers should include gay characters and storylines in their games is that "if I can't escape from reality through video games, [heterosexual people] shouldn't either."

* While talking about BioWare's games in particular, Yang quips that "sex is the result of talking to an NPC, saying pleasant things to them, then watching some barely PG-13 dry humping. I doubt that's how most people think of sex. Sex is one of the most compelling interactions in the realm of human experience, and the best we can do is a cut scene that you get by (easily) manipulating others?"



* As for how Yang would like to see developers deal with this topic: He shares, at one point, that instead of saying "this is how [LGBT] relationships are," game makers would say something like "this is how a transgender person dealt with body image at this particular time and place." A good game about relationships or sexuality, he adds, "will actually question how it goes about abstracting it."

Do I agree with the assertions Yang makes in this article? For the most part, yes. Although I can understand, somewhat, why many developers and publishers continue to shy away from making games that feature, say, openly gay protagonists, I think only the most disingenuous person would argue that's the only option for the folks interested in creating more LGBT-friendly titles.



Personally, I'd be happy if developers began by spending a bit more time thinking about who will play the games they make. Maybe if they realized that some of the people who buy and enjoy their products are gay, or lesbian, or bisexual, or transgender--or, hell, even straight women or folks of either gender who aren't white--they'd find it much easier to make all-inclusive games.

Those are just my thoughts on this topic, though; what are yours?

Oh, hey, auntie pixelante has released another awesome Flash game

It's called Dys4ia and, basically, it takes you through transgender game developer Anna Anthropy's rather tumultuous experiences with hormone replacement therapy.

I'm sure some will say it's not really a game, at least not in the traditional sense. My response to that: Anthropy's not exactly a traditional game developer, so what did you expect?

Anyway, I quite enjoyed my brief playthrough of Anthropy's latest Flash-based effort. I'm sure this will sound awfully odd, but it's kind of like an extremely linear WarioWare game, as each segment has you complete a (generally easy) task while reading a small bit of on-screen text.

Although such gameplay--if it can be called that--could be be boring in the wrong hands, in Anthropy's hands it's surprisingly compelling. Of course, it helps that she keeps things interesting by rarely calling on the player to complete the same "task" more than once.

As for Dys4ia's superficial aspects: Its pixel-based graphics are, as is seemingly always the case in an auntie pixelante game, superb, as is Liz Ryerson's spacey, new-age-ish soundtrack.

It only takes a few minutes to complete a single run-through of Dys4ia, so if you have the time and interest I'd highly recommend giving it a go (here) as soon as possible.

See also: Previous auntie pixelante posts