'Don't get yr hopes up'

I know I tend to present myself as a rather peppy and positive person on line, but believe me when I tell you I have a cynical side. (Just ask my husband if you want confirmation.)

I share that to explain both why I like the painting below--the title of which serves as this post's header, by the way--as well as why I've liked pretty much every piece of art New Zealand-based deviantart user melonjaywalk has produced.



It also should help explain why I got such a kick out of a note melonjaywalk published along with the painting, which was inspired by a scene in Sonic the Hedgehog 3: "Was originally just a landscape before I decided that I just needed to ruin it somehow. So, text."

To see more of melonjaywalk's stuff, go to melonjaywalk.deviantart.com or melonjaywalk.tumblr.com.

Shall We Do It? (more Bravely Default with a smidge of Weapon Shop de Omasse thrown in for good measure)

You know that old saying, "slow and steady wins the race"? Well, I'm beginning to think it applies to Bravely Default.

After all, I've now spent about 40 hours with this Final Fantasy-esque 3DS RPG and I've yet to complete its fourth chapter. I feel like I'm making good progress toward its conclusion, though, so don't take that last comment to be a complaint.

That's not to suggest this portable journey has been without its grievances, mind you. In fact, a number of little niggles have popped onto my radar in the last week or so, with the following being the most noteworthy:

* You know, I'm really glad Edea is in this game, because if she weren't, it wouldn't be half as good as it is. I mean, Agnès? What a dud--or worse. Tiz is kind of boring, too, but at least he's not a total stick in the mud like the aforementioned "wind vestal." As for Ringabel, although he's growing on me, I still find his schtick to be more than a little grating. We get it, you like the ladies! Sigh.

* Someone over at developer Silicon Studio really likes backtracking, don't they? There's no other explanation for all of the running around players are required to do in this game. That's far less of a problem after you reliably gain access to an airship (SPOILER: you gain access to an airship in this game), but when you don't have access to one it's really, really annoying--even if you go ahead and turn off random battles.

* Another semi-spoiler: at one point in Bravely Default, you're able to track down and defeat a certain number of dragons in order to advance a certain side quest. Sounds cool, right? Well, the damn things are nearly impossible to beat at that particular point in time--or at least they have been for me and my otherwise-overlevelled party so far. Not a good thing if you tend to be an obsessive gamer like I am.

Don't get me wrong, overall Bravely Default's still a great game and I can't see myself pushing it to the back burner anytime soon. Would I be enjoying it more than I am now, though, if it didn't feature some of the annoying quirks I just mentioned? Yes, of course. And I sincerely hope the folks working on the sequel address and fix all, or at least some, of them before Bravely Second "goes gold," as they say.

In the meantime, though, I'll continue chipping away at this fledgling series' first effort. Maybe by the time I write next week's "Shall We Do It?" post I'll have experienced the infamous fifth chapter that everyone's groused about here and elsewhere?

As for Weapon Shop de Omasse, well, I downloaded it a couple of weeks ago and I finally put two or three hours into it over the weekend.

If you've yet to hear about it, it's a 3DS eShop game that was developed, in part, by a Japanese comedian named Yoshiyuki Hirai and published by Level-5. In it, players are put into the shoes of someone who runs a weapons shop within an RPG.

So, would-be warriors waltz into the shop, ask for a weapon, you make (or polish an existing) one and then rent it out to them so they can go slay a beast, get back at a group of thieves, stuff like that. While they're on their adventures, all of their actions are relayed to you via a hilarious, Twitter-like stream of messages known as the "Grindcast."

Anyway, I'm getting a kick out of it so far. I love the game's low-poly, PSone-esque graphics; the computer-controlled warriors are, almost without exception, adorably realized; and the "Grindcast" has prompted more than one genuine guffaw, which means it's a certified success in my mind.

All that said, I'm not entirely sure it's worth $8--or at least I have a feeling a good number of folks aren't going to think it's worth that much after they buy and play it. It's fun, but I can see it being a pretty short and superficial affair when all is said and done. As such, I might recommend waiting until Level-5 puts it on sale, as they are wont to do. Even at $5, Weapon Shop de Omasse would be quite a bit more appealing than it is now, I think.

Have any of you picked up this unique eShop title? If so, what do you think so far? Or maybe you're still spending the bulk of your gaming time on Bravely Default? In that case, how are things faring for you at the moment?

See also: previous 'Shall We Do It?' posts

An idea I could really get behind: Kevin Bolk's Manimal Crossing comic

Sadly, the above-mentioned idea is "just" a one-off, Animal Crossing-inspired comic that was created by cartoonist Kevin Bolk at the moment.

Who knows, though--maybe Bolk will create a whole series of Manimal Crossing strips (pun intended) if this first one really takes off.



To see more of Bolk's work, by the way, visit kevinbolk.com and/or kevinbolk.deviantart.com.

(Via mascotcomic.com)

A trio of terrific(ally gay) tumblrs

Last weekend, I promoted (by way of this post) one of the many tumblrs I tend to frequent. I thought I'd promote a few others today--namely, the trio of tumblrs operated by regular commenter Steve Pixel.

* F*CK YEAH CHO ANIKI!!!!!!!--As its name implies, the focus of this NSFW (not safe for work) tumblr is the series of Masaya/NCS Corp. shmups that feature scantily-clad muscle men and surreal imagery. Cho Aniki isn't its sole focus, though; it also includes GIFs, illustrations and screenshots of games, manga and anime that are stylistically similar to the Super Big Brother titles.

* Obscure Video Games--Although I love the aforementioned tumblr with all of my heart, I'd by lying if I said I preferred it to this one, which focuses on  GIFs, illustrations and screenshots of "weird old games that most people have forgotten." A good example: the crazy PC Engine cover art seen below, which has long been one of my favorites (due to the mustachioed, muscle-bound dude at its center, of course).

* Pixelboys--Last, but not least, is this tumblr, which focuses on male nudity in video games. As I'm sure you can tell by that description, it's completely NSFW--unless, of course, your workplace allows you to look at pixelated and polygonal penises and such.

So, there you have it--three more game-related tumblrs to check out next time you're in the mood for such things. If you know of any others that I should be aware of, by the way, please let me know about them in the comments section below.

Note: only two of the tumblrs discussed above are explicitly gay. Still, all three are quite terrific.

I like big Pokébutts and I cannot lie

Especially when they're drawn by artist Lindsey Morris (aka Wine Lips), who is hawking a 12-page mini-comic called Pokébutts via her website.

As I'm sure you can tell by the comic's title, Pokébutts features full-color drawings of Pokémon characters sporting ample derrières.

Morris is selling two versions of Pokébutts, by the way. The standard edition can be had for just $5, while the special edition--which is customized with your choice of hand-drawn Pokébutt--costs $8.

I've already decided I'm going for the $8 version, but I haven't yet placed my order because I'm unsure as to which Pokémon character I want Morris to JLO-ize.

(Via tinycartridge.com)

More like Mesmerizing Man

My only beef with the video below is that it lasts just 55 seconds and, thus, feels a bit unfinished.

Other than that, though, I think it's fabulous.



I especially like how the three panels at the beginning of the video match up with the different parts of whichever Mega Man tune is playing in the background. (The one on the left goes with the bass notes, the one in the middle goes with the melody and the one on the right goes with the synth-y notes the float above it all.)

By the way, if you didn't get your fill of mash-ups featuring the Old Spice Man and a random game song by watching the video above, you may want to watch this one, too.

(Via dorkly.com, by way of gonintendo.com)

A most agreeable gaming blog

If you're looking for a website to peruse this weekend, may I suggest the recently launched--well, back in July--A Most Agreeable Pastime?

This blog certainly has an interesting hook: Every post resides within "the Victorian Manor of Lucius P. Merriweather and Sir Gaulian, two stalwart enthusiasts of the new pastime of Video Gaming."



For instance, reviews of "long-lost classic games" can be found in the manor's cellar, while Lucius' and Sir Gaulian's backlogs can be found on its mantelpiece.

It's all rather cheeky--not to mention completely engrossing--so if you're at all into cheeky, engrossing blogs, check out amostagreeablepastime. wordpress.com at your earliest convenience.

Calling all 'Speccy' fans

Full disclosure: I've never played a ZX Spectrum game. Hell, I've never even laid my eyes on a ZX Spectrum cart (it uses cartridges, right? or does it use disks?) or system.

I feel like I have, though, after flipping through the pages of the first issue of the ZX Spectrum Gamer ezine produced by Paul Weller.

Let me assure you that you don't have to be a longtime fan of the ZX Spectrum--or Speccy, as I believe some call it--to enjoy Weller's online magazine. Basically, if you like cheeky humor and if you're curious about retro-gaming oddities, you'll get a kick out of ZX Spectrum Gamer.

Along with the aforementioned humor (a good example: on the zine's first page, Weller promises that "the next issue will be available when I write it, or perhaps a little later than that if nobody reads this one"), the inaugural issue of ZX Spectrum Gamer includes reviews of Discs of Death, Killer Kong, Olli and Lissa and Trashman. It also includes a pair of features that contemplate various Speccy game covers and loading screens.

Weller is the man behind another fanzine I've mentioned in the past, by the way: PC Engine Gamer. Check out its first five issues here.

See also: 'Someone really needs to make Famicom Gamer and Mega Drive Gamer magazines, too'

A t-shirt that finally answers the question: What video games did folks play in ancient Greece?

I tried but failed to come up with a witty name for the game and system being used in the following t-shirt, designed by Esther Aarts. Any ideas?

Here's an up-close-and-personal view of Aarts' design, called "Classic Gamer," in case you can't make out all of the details in the image above:

Anyway, be the first on your block--or even town, depending on how large it is--to own one of these shirts by ordering one today at threadless.com.

(Via gamergrrlz.net)

Video games made him gay

"A million websites explore homoerotic content in comic books. (And by 'explore,' I mean 'create boners with.') I'm looking into gay and gay-seeming elements in video games."

The quote above can be found in the "About" section of the hilarious (and kind of hot) new tumblog, videogamesmademegay.tumblr.com.

So, what can you expect to see upon visiting this site? This smokin' illustration of Street Fighter III's Alex is a pretty good example:

As is the sassy description that's posted alongside it: "I smell homoeroticism whenever I see a dude subjected to a from-behind-the-ass angle. Well, I smell that and ass, I guess."

The man behind videogamesmademegay.tumblr.com also maintains a tumblog called "The Bow on Birdo," by the way, which he describes as a "depository for art from the Super Mario games and related series."

See also: My '10 video games that made my life gayer' series of posts

The Muscle March fanfic you've all been waiting for (don't deny it)

I don't know about you, but when I first played Namco Bandai's wacky WiiWare game, Muscle March, I thought to myself, "You know, this could inspire some really great fanfic!"

OK, so that's not what I was thinking while I played the game for the first time. Still, I'd be lying if I said that I was anything other than intrigued when one of my most favorite deviantartists, madamluna, shared (via Twitter) a link to a piece of Muscle March fanfic she'd penned a while back.



The piece is called "Love and Muscles," by the way, and it's quite a hoot. (Does anyone under the age of 80 use that term? No? Oh, well.) Don't take my word for it--read the following paragraphs and find out for yourself:

Call him typical, but Pedroso lived for the hunt. The hunt of the heart, that is--the passionate dance of flirtation and courtship that set his Spanish blood a-boiling. The stolen glances, the gentle kisses, the tiny, expensive presents given to coax out the glow in a lady's eyes! Oh, just the thought of it was enough to have him dancing on air for days! Pedroso knew his stuff, all right, and many a señorita had fallen gracefully into his arms.

Which is why it nearly broke the poor man's heart when Abebe, gorgeous, chiseled, newest-member-of-the-team Abebe, spurned Pedroso's every advance. He used the man's rose petals to line his pet chick's 'fro-nest, pulled away in boredom at his veiled romantic poetry, and didn't look at all impressed when the keepsake silver bracelet snapped in half as he flexed his wrist. Pedroso could only watch in horror as every one of his attempts turned into a disaster right before his eyes, and at the end of it all he dragged himself back to his villa, in the deepest despair he'd ever known.

If you were at all tickled by what you just read, I'd highly recommend reading the rest of the piece at archiveofourown.org.

See also: Previous Muscle March posts

This ain't yo' mama's version of the Super Mario Bros. theme

Are these guys--the ones who make up the bluegrass group, The Cleverlys--for real? Based on their name and the bio on their website, I'm not so sure, but I don't really care.

What I do care about is that they play a mean version of the Super Mario Bros. theme song.



To hear more of their stuff, including this rather awesome cover of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)," check out their official YouTube channel.

(Via gonintendo.com)

Adele is obsessed with Angry Birds, too

OK, so the song included in the video below isn't actually Adele's. Rather, it's an Angry Birds-focused parody of the British crooner's hit single, "Rolling in the Deep."



My favorite lines in this version of the song, by the way, are: "I've reset this level a hundred thousand times. This ninety-nine cent App purchase is destroying my life."

(Via joemygod.blogspot.com)

'P.S. the only reson im giving this a 1 is beacuase the voices where pretty good. But thats it!'

Anyone looking for a good laugh (and who isn't?) has to watch the following video, which was produced by the able folks at Newgrounds.com:



The animation is the work of Mick Lauer (aka RicePirate), by the way, while Deven Mack (aka D-Mac-Double) is responsible for the vocal.

(Via superpunch.blogspot.com)

I thought the graphics were better in the GameGear version

How would Rebecca Black's rather inane (I know, that's putting it mildly) hit single, "Friday," look and sound if it were a GameBoy Color title? Here's how a couple of comedy writers who call themselves Smales and Payne recently answered that question:



The imaginary game depicted in the video above was made using MS Paint, by the way, while the audio was produced by Nick Maynard. (The latter can be downloaded here for a buck.)

Edith's and Rosemary's frightful memories of Mad Panic Coaster

I included a link to this hilarious video review of Mad Panic Coaster in the "Great Gaymathon" post I just published, but I like it (the video review, not my written one) so much that I had to give it a post of its own.



My favorite line: "The wood cutter gave us this game because we were good girls." (OK, so the final exchange between Edith and Rosemary makes me chuckle, too.)

Dear Harmonix: Please make a Lady Gaga version of this Dance Central ad for the US

Actually, I can't imagine enjoying a Lady Gaga version of the following ad even half as much as I enjoy the current, Kylie-fronted iteration, but Ms. Minogue probably isn't popular enough here in the States to make such an extravagant commercial worthwhile to the folks at Harmonix.



I'd ask for a Madonna version, but you know she'd never agree to such a thing. Even if she did, though, the folks behind the commercial surely would have to change up the story a bit, as La Ciccone would never allow herself to be locked in her dressing room like that.

(Via towleroad.com by way of joemygod.blogspot.com)

'Happy testing' the 3DS

You know, I'm a bit disappointed it took someone two whole days--the 3DS was released on Feb. 26, while the following clip was posted to YouTube on Feb. 28--to produce a video like this:



I'm pleasantly surprised, though, that the video in question utilizes a man's body rather than a woman's.

Speaking of the 3DS, the box art for the North American version of Pilotwings Resort--see it, and pre-order the game, here--has me jonesing for Nintendo's new portable system. Badly.

'Size doesn't matter if you can perfect the Rising Dragon Punch'

London-based designer Aled Lewis (aka fatheed) recently posted the image below--and the comment above--to his Flickr photostream and to his tumblog, Aled Knows Best.

I'm also quite fond of "Enhancement" and "Fashion Faux Pas." And "Private Time." Oh, hell, I like everything Lewis has created so far.

8-bit Fiction is back

And funnier than ever, it seems. Need proof? Check out yesterday's addition:

This one gave me a good chuckle, too.

Anyway, this hilarious tumblog seems to be getting regular updates again, so go ahead and bookmark it if you like incongruous, game-related humor.