On the one hand, I'm glad I finally own a copy of one of Nippon Ichi's first PlayStation games, Cooking Fighter Hao

On the other, I wish I actually enjoyed playing this cooking-themed import.

Sadly, I doubt the latter is going to change anytime soon, as Cooking Fighter Hao has proven to be a monumentally tedious experience for me so far. It was fairly evident from the word go that would be the case, actually, as the game opens with may well be the world's most boring--and wordy--introductory cutscene.

After that, players are transported to a drab, gray arena and then tasked with battling a bunch of SNK rejects in an what can only be described as an Iron Chef-esque competition. Here, though, participants produce dishes by bashing the adorable (well, kind of) animals that scurry about each stage and then pressing the PlayStation controller's buttons or control pad in various ways once the cattle, chickens, crabs and such have been stunned into submission.

Although that may sound acceptable enough on paper (or, er, on blog), in reality it's anything but.

Add to this the fact that the aesthetics of Cooking Fighter Hao would have been considered middle of the road even if they'd appeared in an early Super Famicom release--although I personally quite like the sprites found in the battle scenes--and you've got yourself a rather disappointing PlayStation pick-up.

So why did I buy a copy of it? And why am I happy about it? My knee-jerk reaction is to say that the game was made by the folks at Nippon Ichi and, as such, it would be worth hunting down even if it literally were a piece of crap. After a bit of reflection, I'd add that, despite all of the criticism I've leveled at it so far, I still like Cooking Fighter Hao enough to own a copy of it--especially given the price I paid for this particular copy.

Plus, the game's packaging is pretty nice, as a quick glance at any of the photos strewn about this post should prove. I especially like its cover and disc art, by the way, although the manual sports some nice illustrations, too.

Have any of you experienced Cooking Fighter Hao in some form or fashion? If so, do you agree with my rather negative assessment of it, or have you enjoyed what you've played of it thus far?

The Great Gaymathon Review #67: Kitchen Panic (GameBoy)

Game: Kitchen Panic

Genre: Action

Developer: Bits Laboratory

Publisher: Coconuts Japan

System: GameBoy

Release date: 1991

Let's not beat around the bush--or maybe I should say blender--here: if Kitchen Panic were edible rather than playable, it would be a McDonald's Happy Meal instead of a four-course meal from a three-star restaurant.

That's not me saying this Japan-only GameBoy title deserves to be dumped in the trash along with the spoiled leftovers, by the way. On the contrary, it's actually a pretty cute, "enjoyable enough" little game--just don't look for it to blow you away. And for crying out loud, don't go dropping a wad of cash on it (unless you're one of those crazy collector-types, of course). Go into it with the right expectations, though, and I think you'll have a reasonably good time.

As for what you'll be doing during that "reasonably good time," well, you'll be running around kitchen-themed levels of various sizes--they start off taking up a single screen but quickly grow to many times that--spraying insects of all sorts (cockroaches, mosquitos, worms and more) with Raid until a door appears and whisks you off to another one.

If that sounds less than totally thrilling, well, I can't blame you. Kitchen Panic is, after all, a pretty basic experience. Still, it all becomes kind of enjoyable after you've spent a bit of time with it. Also, the slightest smidge of depth enters the fray when you discover that the sun-, star- and moon-branded blocks that seem to randomly appear (I haven't figured out what prompts them to pop up, at least) after killing certain insects can be pushed together to boost your health, allow you to become invincible and more.

Toss into the mix a couple of bonus stages and boss fights, and you've got yourself an arcade-style action game that's sort of repetitive but also sort of fun--and sports some rather nice "cart art," if I do say so myself.

See also: some photos of Kitchen Panic's packaging, scans of its entire instruction manual, plus previous 'Great Gaymathon' reviews

If only the gameplay in Kitchen Panic (GameBoy) were as awesome as its box art

Oh, don't get me wrong--the gameplay in Kitchen Panic, a rather unheralded Japan-only GameBoy title that was released all the way back in 1991, isn't completely terrible. I also wouldn't describe it as overly appealing, though, which is a bit of a shame given the effort put into its colorful box art.

Oh, well, you can't always have everything, can you? And at least in the case of this portable action game--which was developed by Bits Laboratory and published by Coconuts Japan--we got a pretty ace cover illustration out of the deal.

We also got a surprisingly adorable manual out of it. As you hopefully can see in the photos above and below, the front and back covers of Kitchen Panic's instruction manual are supposed to resemble the corresponding surfaces of an actual GameBoy.

Now, don't take all of this yammering to mean that everything other than Kitchen Panic's box and manual art is completely without merit. In fact, some of its spritework is pretty darn nice, and its gameplay is of the accessibly arcade-y sort that only can be found in a title of this era.



Just don't spend an arm and a leg on a copy of it, OK? In fact, before you spend even a dime on it I'd highly recommend taking it for a test drive via emulation. After that, if you're still interested in it and if you've got the means to play it, pick up a loose cart on the cheap.

See also: my 'Great Gaymathon' review of Kitchen Panic and scans of its entire instruction manual

Mario's Panic Restaurant

You know what? I'd love it if Nintendo made a game that somehow combined its Mario Bros. series with Taito's kitchen-centric platformer, Panic Restaurant.

I can't see the company brass green-lighting a full-fledged release based on that premise, but maybe they would find a downloadable one (sold through the eShop, for instance) a bit more palatable?

As for what prompted this epicurean epiphany: I just stumbled across the following t-shirt design, produced by Los Angeles-based artist herky (aka Flickr user Lucky1988):

If you find this design--called "Trouble in the Kitchen of the Ristorante"--to be as delicious as I do, cast a vote in favor of it at shirt.woot.com between now and next Thursday at noon.

See also: More of Lucky1988's designs

You know which game-based food item I'd like to create/consume in real life? The fuchsia martini that appears in Bobble Bobble ...

... or maybe the strawberry-topped cake from the same game.

I doubt I'll be able to create my own recipes for either of those dishes anytime soon, though, so I'll just cross my fingers and hope that Daniella Zelli, proprietress of the Gourmet Gaming tumblog (gourmetgaming.co.uk), covers one or both of them at some point.

In case you've never been to Zelli's site before, it features recipes that attempt to bring game-based food items to life. Thus far, she's recreated the "amazing apple pie" from Fable II, the "golden brown pizza" from Dead Rising and Thomas' biscuit from Deadly Premonition, among others.

It appears that Zelli takes requests now and then, so maybe I should hit her up and ask if she'll consider tackling one or both of the Bubble Bobble-based food items I mentioned earlier in a future post?

(Via gamesetwatch.com and vidyaboi.blogspot.com)

You say bento, I say brilliant

I love re-tweets. You know why? Because they make me aware of some awesomely random things, like the following Costume Quest bento box (created by the lady behind annathered.com):

(Software consultant and ludologist Jason McIntosh is responsible for the re-tweet that made me aware of the above-mentioned bento, by the way.)

Anyway, if you think Anna's Costume Quest bento is awesome, just wait until to see some of her other creations--like this Katamari Damacy bento, or this Noby Noby Boy bento, or this Tingle bento. (I also like this Pink Castle Crasher bento quite a bit.)

To see more photos of her Costume Quest bento (and her other bentos, too), check out her Flickr photostream.