What can I say? Guys with bouncy shovels (knights, especially) bring me to my knees...

Especially if they're pixelated. The guys, I mean. Actually, I kind of like pixelated shovels, too.

Anyway, the pixelated guy (and shovel) that's bringing me to my knees at this particular moment is the one showcased in the latest teaser trailer produced for Yacht Club Games' long-awaited, Duck Tales-esque platformer, Shovel Knight:



Shovel Knight is set to hit Steam as well as the Wii U and 3DS eShops on March 31, by the way. How many of you are planning to buy it--and which version(s) are you going to pick up?

Me, I'm going with the 3DS iteration. No question. Of course, I can't imagine you can go wrong with any version of this one.

A somewhat gay review of Witch and Hero (3DS)

Game: Witch and Hero

Genre: Tower Defense

Developer: Flyhigh Works and FK Digital

Publisher: Circle Entertainment

System: 3DS (eShop)

Release date: 2013

Witch and Hero is one hell of a fun game.

True, it sports some charmingly rendered graphics that call to mind those of its counterparts from the 1980s, and its blippy soundtrack compares favorably to the ones featured in RPGs from the same era, but neither of those things will prompt you to return to the game over and over and over again as I have since I was given a complimentary copy a few months ago.

No, what will keep you coming back for more (and more and more, if you're anything like me) as far as Witch and Hero is concerned is that it's a total blast to play.

What's so fun about it? For me, it all stems from the title's main gameplay hook, which throws gamers into the shoes of an adorably pixelated knight (the titular hero) and then tasks them with protecting his similarly two-dimensional witch pal from swarm after swarm of oncoming baddies.

You see, each of this digital title's 20 stages begins with the hero's quite literally petrified friend standing at its center. As enemies approach her from the edges of the screen, the player (piloting the aforementioned adorable knight) races about using the 3DS' circle pad and bumps into them, a la Falcom's vaunted Ys series, until they've expired.

Don't worry, it's more strategic than it probably sounds. For instance, if you ram into a baddie from behind you'll cause the most damage while experiencing the least amount of pain yourself.

That's all you have to worry about for the first few levels: killing as many enemies as possible while protecting the witch from harm (since she can take damage, too--and if she dies, it's game over).

Thankfully, Witch and Hero adds an extra layer or two of gameplay to the proceedings just before things begin to feel stale by revealing that it's possible to resurrect your pointy hatted pal for a few, precious seconds----during which she blasts oncoming foes either with a fire or tornado attack--by gathering the drops of blood that are left behind by extinguished enemies and tossing them at her feet.

As much as that helps liven up the experience, things are made even more enjoyable after the last of Witch and Hero's surprises is exposed--with the surprise in question being the introduction of yet another ATB-esque bar that fills each time the knight engages an enemy. Max it out and hit a button and ol' helmet head becomes invincible for a hot second while his better half (OK, so I have no idea whether the witch and hero are married or not) pushes out some spells that are even more wicked and spectacular than the ones she unleashed earlier.

Once both of those "features" are made available to players, Witch and Hero fully blossoms as a portable pick-up-and-play game that's worth every penny (399, to be exact) you spend on it.

That's not to say it's a perfect portable pick-up-and-play game. For instance, there's the fact that it takes a while to show its true colors--and, as such, it's sure to lose a handful of gamers in the interim. Also, the final boss is a real pain in the ass.

Neither of those issues is enough to keep me from recommending Witch and Hero, though, so I'd say that if what I wrote above sounds at all appealing, and if you have $3.99 to spare, you should give it a try at your earliest convenience.

See also: previous 'somewhat gay' reviews

It's like Crypt of the NecroDancer was made with me in mind

I don't know about you, but a name like Crypt of the NecroDancer doesn't really pique my interest. Tell me said game is rhythm-based roguelike that sports a retro-tastic art style, though, and you've got my attention.

The question is: will the aforementioned title, which is being made by the folks at Brace Yourself Games for both Mac and Windows, wind up being as fun to play as it appears to be in the following trailer?



I'm a little skeptical, I have to admit, but I'm also intrigued enough that I'll likely take the Mac version for a spin shortly after it's released.

The only thing that could keep me from doing that is Crypt of the NecroDancer's $15 price tag--something I'd be far more willing to put up with if it were attached to a console or even handheld release.

(Via penny-arcade.com)

It appears my Game of the Year for 2013 will be released sometime next month

With that game being the follow-up to my favorite game of last year, THE "DENPA" MEN: They Came By Wave.

What will that game's much-anticipated (by me, at least) sequel be called, you ask? The Denpa Men 2: Beyond the Waves, according to this IGN.com article.

Does this mean that developer and publisher Genius Sonority has decided to shy away from using all-caps and quotation marks? I'm not sure yet, but I kind of hope that isn't the case as I enjoyed typographically shouting THE "DENPA" MEN at the top of my lungs every once in a while.

Regardless, I'll be picking up Beyond the Waves the second it appears on the 3DS eShop--which, according to the aforementioned IGN article, should happen on or around May 2.

Of course, someone who claims to have worked on the localization popped up on GameFAQs (I know, I know) on Friday and suggested the date above is incorrect, so I guess we'll find out soon enough of that's the case or not.

Regardless, are any of you also planning to pick up The Denpa Men 2 (or THE "DENPA" MEN 2, as I prefer to call it)?

See also: 'A somewhat gay review of THE 'DENPA' MEN: They Came By Wave (3DS)'

Although I need another 3DS game like I need an extra hole in the head ...

... I'm still considering picking up Nintendo's Tokyo Crash Mobs, which hit the 3DS eShop this past Thursday.

Why? I tend to like puzzlers, for starters. Also, I've barely spent any time with the Magnetica/Puzzloop series on which Tokyo Crash Mobs seems to be based.



Oh, and then there are Grace's "bitch stare" and Savannah's "hair twirl" that can be seen near the beginning of the video above. (A proper trailer for the game can be seen here, by the way.)

Have any of you picked up this $6.99 title since its release? If so, what do you think of it so far? Also, would you recommend I follow in your footsteps sometime soon, or should I steer clear of it?

(Via tinycartridge.com)

A somewhat gay review of Patchwork Heroes

Game: Patchwork Heroes

Genre: Action puzzler

Developer: Acquire

Publisher: SCEA

System: PSP

Release date: 2010

True story: This digital-only game, which is called Hyakumanton no Bara Bara in Japan and earned a full-on retail release in that country, is one of a small handful of titles that prompted me to pick up a PSP nearly three years ago.

Do I regret that decision now that I've finally (and fully) played through this portable puzzler? Not at all. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it's one of my favorite PSP-exclusive games (of the ones I've experienced, of course).

Heavily responsible for that, I have to sheepishly admit, are the superficial aspects of Patchwork Heroes--i.e., how the game looks and sounds. The former especially rocks my world--thanks to the colorful, textured and textile-filled art style used by Acquire's designers--although the latter's Middle Eastern-influenced soundtrack is nothing to sneeze at.

That's not to suggest Patchwork Heroes is a completely superficial experience. On the contrary, its gameplay and even story--something that isn't always a priority when it comes to puzzlers--more than hold their own against its music and graphics.

How so? Well, players are shoved into the shoes of a blue-hatted lad named Titori and then tasked with protecting his hometown from a never-ending stream of colossal, bomb-wielding warships, for starters. As for how they're supposed to accomplish all of that: Titori is flown up to said ships, latches onto them and then brings them down by cutting them into pieces. (You do this by pressing your PSP's O button and then moving its analog nub in the direction you'd like to slice.)

Frankly, it feels a lot like Taito's classic coin-op title, Qix, turned on its head, which is a treat for folks like me who grew up on such games. (Don't worry, it's sure to be a treat for those who've never experienced it, too.)

All of the above is sure to make Patchwork Heroes sound easier than it is, so let's get one thing straight: This game is not a push-over, nor is it simple. While you're cutting apart the giant ships that are threatening the protagonist's idyllic hamlet, for instance, you've also got to save a number of your fellow citizens who have, for some reason or other, become imprisoned within the advancing contraptions. Also, each ship is equipped with various forms of defense, all of which do their best to keep you from attaining your goal--and often succeed, if you're anything like me. 

Thankfully, a variety of power-ups pop up on occasion to aid you in your quest, although to assume that they'll help in any significant fashion would be the definition of foolish. Still, any form of assistance is welcome while working through Patchwork Heroes' story and challenge modes.

None of them assist this title's other possible shortcoming, unfortunately--with that shortcoming being the utensils that are used to control it (i.e., your PSP's analog nub and directional pad). Neither option makes Patchwork Heroes anywhere near unplayable, but both do their best to get in the way of things on a regular basis.

If you can get past that and the stiff challenge, though, you're sure to find this digital release to be more than worth its $9.99 price tag and a welcome addition to your PSP game collection.

See also: Previous 'somewhat gay' reviews

You say Shippuu no Usagi-Maru: Megumi no Tama to Fuuma no Shirushi, I say uh ...

While scanning Nintendo of Japan's website a week or so ago (I can't remember why, actually), I happened upon an enticing image of an upcoming 3DS eShop game.

After doing a bit of digging, I discovered that the game is called Shippuu no Usagi-Maru: Megumi no Tama to Fuuma no Shirushi and it's being published by Arc System Works, best known for two-dimensional brawlers BlazBlue and Guilty Gear.

Actually, I should say it was published by Arc System Works, as it was uploaded to the Japanese eShop (carrying a ¥500 price tag) on Oct. 10.



The main reason I'm interested in it is its art style, of course, but I'm also pretty interested in its gameplay (see a bit of it in the trailer above), which looks similar to that of Moai-kun, a puzzler-platformer that Konami released for the Famicom back in the day.

Fun fact: One of my co-hosts on The Nichiest Podcast Ever kindly agreed to translate the game's title for me, with the result being something along the lines of Usagimaru of the Gale: The Blessed Seed and the Cursed Seal. (Oh, and Usagimaru is the adorable protagonist's name.)

A somewhat gay review of THE 'DENPA' MEN: They Came By Wave (3DS)

Game: THE '"DENPA" MEN: They Came By Wave

Genre: RPG/Dungeon-Crawler

Developer: Genius Sonority

Publisher: Genius Sonority

System: 3DS

Release date: 2012

THE "DENPA" MEN is often described as being "a lot like Dragon Quest." Although the comparison is apt, it's also a bit simplistic.

After all, although the two games sport similar battle engines, senses of humor and straightforward (some might say non-existant) stories, they're otherwise pretty unique.

THE "DENPA" MEN, for instance, lacks the kind of sprawling overworld often included in Dragon Quest games. Although I initially considered that to be a negative, over time I came to the realization that it sped things up considerably--which is a positive in this case because it allows you to zoom from the hub island to your next destination (always a dungeon)  and back again with a blink of an eye.

Also, although both THE "DENPA" MEN and Dragon Quest feature lightning-fast battle scenes, I've found those of the former to be a lot more fun than the latter thus far. (And this is coming from someone  who loves Dragon Quest's battle sequences.) In part, that's due to THE "DENPA" MEN's wacky character designs, I'm sure, but it's also due to what those wacky characters do during said scenes. Case in point: When a player prompts his "Denpa" men to "Fight" rather than use magic, said party members race toward selected baddies and attempt to headbutt them into oblivion--an action that's even more entertaining than it sounds.

Speaking of THE "DENPA" MEN's battles: Something that sets them apart from those found in many other RPGs (both old and new) is how malleable they are. For instance, you can hit your 3DS' X or Y buttons and let the game's AI choose your options for you (X orders the AI to not use any "skills" (magic, basically), while Y gives it the freedom to do as it wishes), you can assign specific tasks to each individual "Denpa" man or you can mix and match your commands.

Last, but surely not least, THE "DENPA" MEN differentiates itself from its dragon-centric counterpart by having players scan their real-life environment (using the 3DS' AR capabilities) to catch their multi-colored party members. It sounds kind of lame in theory, but in practice it's surprisingly enjoyable (and addictive). Not only that, but it basically gives you access to an unlimited array of playable characters, which isn't something that can be said of many RPGs.

One thing THE "DENPA" MEN doesn't offer that the Dragon Quest games do is a top-shelf soundtrack. That's not to suggest that the music in this Genius Sonority-made eShop title is terrible; rather, it's to suggest that, for the most part, it merely gets the job done. (It must be said, though, that the main battle theme is pretty darn good.)

With all of this chatter about how this 10-dollar digital release does and doesn't compare to one of the best RPGs ever made out of the way, you're probably wondering if I think it's worth picking up or not. The short answer to that question is: Yes. A slightly longer response, though, is: Yes, if you tend to enjoy the genre and if you don't mind a (sometimes rather stiff) challenge.

See also: Previous posts about THE 'DENPA' MEN and 'somewhat gay' reviews

Returning to the Corpse Party: 'Book of Shadows' is coming to North America

And not only that, but Corpse Party: Book of Shadows is coming to North America sometime "this winter."

Oh, and this digital PSP title will be brought here by the fabulous folks at Xseed Games. (They're fabulous because not only did they bring the original Corpse Party to our region late last year, but they've also brought a trio of similarly unique Wii games to the North American masses over the last few years: Fragile Dreams, Ivy the Kiwi? and Little King's Story.)

Don't worry, European Corpse Party fans--Book of Shadows is coming your way, too. Unfortunately, the closest Xseed staffers will come to a release date in your neck of the woods at the moment is "sometime shortly after" the game hits the streets on our shores.



For a brief glimpse at what you can expect to experience in Corpse Party: Book of Shadows once it's finally added to your region's iteration of PSN, check out the just-released teaser trailer (above and here).

Confession time: I'm picking this up day one despite the fact that I've yet to beat the first game. I didn't stop (well) short of Corpse Party's end credits because I disliked anything about it, mind you. Rather, I got stuck at one point and refused to head to GameFAQs for a solution. Shortly after I reached that impasse, it fell off my radar due to the release of some other title I can't remember right now.

Anyway, I'll get back to that ghoulish adventure eventually. Whether that happens before or after I add Book of Shadows to my PSP collection, though, is another question entirely.

Attention Vita owners: Dokuro is now available for purchase via PSN

OK, so most of you probably don't own a Vita. And if you do, you likely already know that GungHo's 150-level puzzler-platformer Dokuro is hitting PSN today. Just in case any of you weren't aware of that fact, though, I thought I'd remind you.

Oh, and I also should remind you that this "two-dimensional Boxxle and ICO mixture with chalk graphics" title (according to NeoGAF user deimian86) will cost you just $19.99.

Here's a (Japanese) gameplay video of Dokuro--which is Japanese for "skull," basically--for those of you who've yet to see it in action:



If you just can't get enough of Dokuro, you may want to watch this video, too, which takes viewers through the game's Japanese demo. (Warning: The guy playing said demo is very annoying.)

Personally, if I owned a Vita I'd probably pick up the Japanese retail release of Dokuro, as I'm pretty fond of its box art, rather than the North American PSN version, but I'm weird like that.

See also: 'Surprise, surprise: The first (and only) Vita game that interests me is an odd, niche-y one'

Five things I dislike about THE 'DENPA' MEN

I've mentioned Genius Sonority's 3DS eShop RPG, THE "DENPA" MEN, quite a few times over the last few weeks and months, and pretty much every one of those mentions was the definition of positive.

In this post, however, I'm going to be a bit negative. Don't worry, "DENPA" MEN fans, I'm not going to rake the game over the proverbial coals. All I'm going to do is point out the few aspects of it that irk me ever so slightly, beginning with:

1. What do you mean I can't change the hero?--I get that the first "Denpa" man you capture becomes the "hero" of your particular playthrough. What I don't get is why you're never allowed to give the guy a rest. Surely he still could serve as the game's central character even if he's sent to the sidelines once in a while? Don't get me wrong: I like my so-called hero (his name's Rudolph) a lot. I just wish I could replace him with a different "Revive"-sporting "Denpa" man on occasion.

2. Every "Denpa" man for himself--I mean that literally in this case. After all, according to the people who made THE "DENPA" MEN, there's only one female character in this game--despite the fact that a number of them look like ladies. As someone who considers himself a bit of a feminist and who prefers to play as female characters in games, that disappoints me. Thankfully, it appears as though this problem has been rectified in the title's just-released-in-Japan sequel.

3. "Defend"? Who needs "Defend"?--I have a feeling one of the folks responsible for the development of THE "DENPA" MEN said something remarkably similar to the comment that kicks off this bullet point while working on the game. How else can you explain its total lack of a "Defend" option during battles? (Those of you who have yet to play this portable RPG: Please note that this is by far the least important of the complaints I'm sharing in this post.)

THE 'DENPA' MEN QR codes for all of you dreadfully shy types

Now that all of you who own 3DSes have purchased THE "DENPA" MEN from the eShop (ahem), and since you've all advanced to the point where you can scan QR codes (right?), I thought I'd share a few of the ones that were generated by my personal favorite "Denpa" men and women.

Please share photos of your own QR codes in the comments section of this post, if you're open to such things.

The name of this "Denpa" man is Aarav. His antenna produces "Mud Stream."

The "Denpa" man in the photo above is known as Leonidas, and his antenna provides him with the "Cyclone" skill. Whoosh!

Want to send waves of water at your enemies? Add pig-nosed Joshua (and his "Tidal Wave" skill) to your party.

Ten things I love about THE 'DENPA' MEN

Sorry, I can't help but use capital letters whenever I type THE "DENPA" MEN, kind of like how I can't help but use them when I type PINK x WHITE while discussing this just-released-in-Japan 3DS LL.

Anyway, who cares about that, right? You clicked on this post because you want to read about the 10 things I love about this Genius Sonority-made 3DS RPG.

Without further ado, then, here they are (in no particular order, mind you):

1. Gotta catch 'em all!--Who would've known that catching the so-called "Denpa" men would be so addicting? Not only that, but it's fun! Sure, you look like a complete idiot when you scan a public area for them, but that's easily forgotten as soon as you encounter a shiny, striped "Denpa" man (or woman) sporting a "heal (all)" antenna.

2. Such character--Call me crazy if you like, but I actually think these little "Denpa" dudes and dudettes (some of them are women, right?) are cuter than Nintendo's Miis. I love the wide variety of shapes, colors, faces and expressions. My current favorite: A blue-and-orange striped one with pink, heart-shaped glasses.

3. Show me your skills--Although it's true that the "Denpa" men and women have nothing on the cast of Final Fantasy V thanks to their extremely limited skill sets (each character learns just one skill), it doesn't much matter while tackling this eShop title. That's both because of the breadth of skills--such as "heal," "revive," "snowstorm" and "summer sun"--made available to players and because of the enormous size of THE "DENPA" MEN's parties. (More on that in a second.)

4. A new meaning to the phrase "giving head"--If you'd asked me before I played THE "DENPA" MEN for the first time if I'd prefer to hurl an avalanche of rocks at my opponents or slam into them using my characters' hard-as-granite noggins, I'd surely have gone with the former. Now that I've spent some quality time with the game, though, I can assure you the latter is far more exciting.

5. The more, the merrier--So, back to the enormous size of this game's parties: At them moment, my party is made up of eight "Denpa" men of various skills, shapes and sizes. Don't worry if that sounds more than a tad unwieldy; it isn't. Please note, by the way, that I'm seemingly only halfway through this portable adventure, so it's possible my party will get even bigger before all is said and done.

The 'Denpa' Men have arrived

Er, kind of.

What I should have said in the headline above is, "The demo of THE 'DENPA' MEN: They Came By Wave has arrived," as the full version of the game won't hit the North American 3DS eShop until next week (on Sept. 27, to be exact).



Sorry, Australian and European 3DS owners: This digital RPG, made by the able folks at Genius Sonority, has yet to receive a release date for your regions, as far as I'm aware.

Anyway, I just downloaded the demo and gave it the ol' college try. My impressions so far: I (surprisingly) like how you catch your 'Denpa men' (who then serve as your party members) using the 3DS' AR functionality, for starters. Also, I find the game's art style completely adorable. Oh, and Dragon Quest-esque battles are fun, too. (Although I wish I had more control over them--unless I'm missing something?)



Have any of you spent a bit of time with THE 'DENPA' MEN demo? If so, what do you think of it? Also, does it make you want to pick up the full game when it's released next week (with a $9.99 price tag attached to it, unfortunately)?

See also: 'I'm totally buying this 3DS eShop game on Sept. 27 despite its rather terrible name'

FYI: Wizorb is now available via PSN

Not only that, but this "retro-flavored Breakout clone with a dash of RPG folded into it" is playable on PS3, PSP and Vita, as far as I'm aware.

I know for sure that it's playable on PSP, though, since I just bought it. Yes, that means I now own four "copies" of Wizorb--one each for my Mac, PC, PSP and Xbox 360.

A word of warning to those of you who are about to race to your PSPs and download this puppy: A bit of "frame-rate chug" weaseled its way into this particular version.



It doesn't ruin the experience--or at least it hasn't yet ruined it for me--but it is noticeable, not to mention a tad annoying, especially if you've spent some time with the Mac, PC or Xbox 360 releases.

Hopefully no such "chug" rears its ugly head while playing the game on a PS3 or Vita. Since I don't own either of those systems, though, I currently can't tell you if that's the case or not.

See also: 'A somewhat gay review of Wizorb (PC and XBLIG)' and 'Ten questions with the guys who created Wizorb'

Is a Bubble Bobble clone really a Bubble Bobble clone if fruit and other food items aren't involved?

I asked myself the question in the header above shortly after I played the awkwardly titled (in my humble opinion) DSiWare title, Magical Whip: Wizards of the Phantasmal Forest, for the first time a few weeks ago.

In case you've never played--or even heard of--Magical Whip, it's a nice little dual-screened "Bubble Bobble clone" that puts players in the shoes--not to mention flowing robe and pointy hat--of a young warlock (or witch, if that's the way you swing) and tasks them with clearing 50 forest-themed stages of bats, ghosts, slimes and other baddies. That's accomplished, for the most part, by picking up--with the titular whip--one or more of the aforementioned spooks and tossing them at each other. (Larger enemies and bosses, which appear on every fifth stage, also can be beaten by bopping them with your weapon.)

Disappointingly, Magical Whip's foes don't produce an eruption of fruit and other food items, a la Bubble Bobble and most/all of its wannabes, once dispatched, which I have to admit caused me to wrinkle my nose in disgust at first. "What's the use in being a Bubble Bobble clone if you can't collect food?" I asked myself after clearing the game's first stage.

I've since gotten over Magical Whip's lack of munchables (for the most part) thanks to the unique spin it puts on this well-worn genre. Like I said earlier, rather than encasing enemies in bubbles or bopping them with hammers, the witchy protagonists in this digital title use their whips to grab and then hoist baddies above their behatted heads. After that, they can toss them at other baddies, causing them to flip into the air. Catch the spinning enemy (with a flick of your whip, of course) and you create a combo that slowly but surely increases your character's attack strength.

That's not all Magical Whip has to offer single-screen platformer fans, of course. It also offers up some surprisingly well-crafted sprites and an appealingly triumphant--if slightly repetitive--soundtrack.

Speaking of repetitive, the only real negatives associated with this game, in my mind, are its backdrops, which barely change from stage to stage. Considering buying the game will only set you back $1.99, though, I wouldn't let it keep you from giving it a try.

Shinobi x Ninja Gaiden x Strider, you say?

I know retro-tinged indie games are a dime a dozen these days, but I can't help but be attracted to some of them.

Take the focus of this post, for instance--which calls to mind such 8-bit standbys as Shinobi, Mega Man, Ninja Gaiden and Strider. You'd have to have a heart of stone--or have started playing games after the 16-bit era--to not find JoyMasher's Oniken at least somewhat appealing, in my opinion.



Does this mean I've already picked up--for $4.99, via Desura--and spent some quality time with this colorful side-scroller? Not yet, but that's not due to a lack of interest on my part. Rather, it's because my backlog is already too full of un-played games (check out some of my recent "Acquisition #123" posts for a few examples) for me to start another one.

That said, don't be too surprised if you see me update the "Now Playing" section of this blog to include Oniken in the coming weeks.

A somewhat gay review of Escape Goat (XBLIG)

Game: Escape Goat

Genre: Platformer/Puzzler

Developer: Magical Time Bean

Publisher: Magical Time Bean

System: Xbox 360

Release date: 2011

I'm sure this will sound weird to some, but games like Escape Goat were chiefly responsible for me getting off my butt and picking up an Xbox 360 just over a year ago. I know Microsoft's second console has plenty of high-quality "packaged" games, but I didn't buy the system for those. (Deadly Premonition being the exception, of course.) Rather, I bought it so I could play the accessible, attractive and cheap titles that are par for the course on the system's XBLA and XBLIG services and that can called upon whenever I find myself longing for a little digital entertainment but don't have a ton of time to expend on it. Well, the focus of this particular review checks all of those boxes and then some. For starters, Escape Goat keeps things simple by providing players with a fairly small set of moves--the titular (purple) goat can run, jump, double jump, dash and air dash, while his beady-eyed friend (an orange mouse) can squeeze into otherwise inaccessible areas--which allows them to focus on the devilishly puzzling stages that are packed into this downloadable title. Actually, I shouldn't suggest all of Escape Goat's Rube Goldberg-esque single-screen stages, each of which takes place in a prison of sorts (you've been locked up for practicing witchcraft, apparently) and tasks players with making their way from a starting point to a (typically blocked or locked) door while pushing blocks, hitting switches and avoiding various obstacles and enemies, are devilish--in reality, a good number of the first ones are quite easy. Many later levels are sure to stump all but the brainiest of gamers, though. Thankfully, the sounds and views that can be heard and seen while playing Escape Goat are appealing enough to make even the most stressful and confounding moments enjoyable (or at least acceptable). The title's wonderfully rendered graphics, for instance, evoke the good ol' days of the Genesis--always a good thing in the opinion of this aging gamer. Also a good thing: The little touches that are strewn throughout this title's 50 levels, like the humorous animation that's triggered whenever Mr. Goat nears the edge of a ledge. The game's soundtrack is similarly noteworthy and is comprised of a number of suitably-epic tunes. With all of that said, the only negative comment I can make about Escape Goat is that it ends a little too quickly and that it likely won't be a game you'll return to after beating it. Considering it'll set you back just a buck (80 Microsoft Points), though, that's really not much of a problem, is it?

See also: Previous 'somewhat gay' reviews

Whoa, 3D Classics: Kid Icarus looks ... weird

The first footage of 3D Classics: Kid Icarus has been released and, well, it's kind of weird. Before I share any more of my opinions on this future eShop title, though, maybe you should watch the footage in question:



So, what do you think? Personally, I'm not a fan of the new high-resolution backgrounds, which give the game a "high-quality ROM hack" sort of feel that doesn't sit all that well with me at the moment.

The good news, especially for grouches like me who aren't exactly enamored with the backdrops, is that it's likely the game will be given to many 3DS owners for free. That's already the case in Europe and Japan, actually--folks who live in those regions and register two 3DS games by a certain date get a free copy of 3D Classics: Kid Icarus plus earn a chance to win one of three special Mario-branded 3DS systems--and I have a feeling Nintendo of America will announce a similar promotion for our neck of the woods sooner rather than later.

(Via 3dsware.nintendolife.com)

All you really need to know about Wizorb (XBLIG): Breakout (gameplay) + Genesis (graphics) + The Legend of Zelda (music)

Oh, and it costs just 240 Microsoft Points ($3) and is available now on the the Xbox Live Indies Game service.

Not only is Wizorb--which was made by Justin Cyr, Jonathan Lavigne and Jean-François Major (who recently joined forces to form Tribute Games)--look, sound and play like a dream, but it's backed by a silly story, too.

Here's the gist of it, in case you're curious: The once-peaceful Kingdom of Gorudo is threatened by an evil presence. The only hope for salvation is Cyrus, a wizard versed in a secret magic art called Wizorb!

Wizorb is more than a Breakout clone covered with a cute, somewhat-clichéd, RPG-ish coat of paint, by the way. For starters, there are boss battles. Also, Cyrus' can call on magic spells that affect his "magic wand" (aka his Arkanoid-ish paddle) and/or the stage that surrounds it. Finally, keys can be collected and then used to unlock doors--which lead to bonus items and even Zelda-esque shops--that are located at the back of certain levels.

As cool as I'm guessing that sounds in theory, I can guarantee--after spending a good amount of time with the game last night--that it's even cooler in practice. Honestly, if this were a boxed-and-available-at-retail Genesis/Mega Drive title, I'd pick it up in a heartbeat regardless of the price tag affixed to it. It's that beautiful, charming and fun.

See also: 'Get your Xboxes ready, Breakout fans: Wizorb hits XBLIG on Thursday' and 'Wizorb has awesome box art'