A cute kiss of death: early-ish impressions of Uchu Shinshuchu for Nintendo Switch

If you've ever dreamt of playing an old-school action-platformer that has you kiss enemies rather than jump on or otherwise attack them, Uchu Shinshuchu may be the game for you. Or it may not be, as even after conquering 25 of its 51 stages I'm still teetering on the fence as to whether I like or loathe this digital Nintendo Switch title.

My main issue with Uchu Shinshuchu, which tasks players with saving the world from an alien invasion using the power of their puckered lips, is that you have to get really close to an enemy to kiss it. That would be fine if the game provided its protagonist (named Saturday-Chan) a life or health bar and flubbing a kiss resulted in damage rather than death, but it doesn't. As such, you die when you lean in to kiss an enemy but instead miss and run into it.

Uchu Shinshuchu's start screen

That said, I've come to (mostly) appreciate this mechanic. It's strangely... fitting? You generally need to be bold to kiss someone, after all. Well, boldness is required to succeed at Uchu Shinshuchu, too.

A second issue with Uchu Shinshuchu, which may be even more damning than the first one, is that there's no backtracking. If you get stuck on a particular stage, you need to beat it or start over from the very beginning of the game.

Uchu Shinshuchu's story is as wacky as its gameplay

That hasn't proven to be a huge problem for me yet, but what has proven to be a problem is getting stuck during a boss encounter. I'm currently on the game's fifth boss and having a devil of a time defeating him. So, I can either keep trying or give up.

On a related note, another of Uchu Shinshuchu's unique gameplay components has you "befriend" (for lack of a better word) all enemies you kiss. You can toss these so-called frenemies at their comrades to stun them, which then makes them easier to kiss and befriend.

Yes, you kiss enemies into submission in Uchu Shinshuchu

That's cool and at least somewhat useful during the game's regular stages. It's nearly useless during boss fights, though, as if you don't defeat a boss on your first try (and if anything you're like me, you won't), you can't make use of these tossable frenemies. Why? Because you lose your cache of captivated frenemies when you die.

As a result, you usually have to tackle Uchu Shinshuchu's bosses solo. Considering how close you need to get to kiss them, this can be a frustrating challenge. I have a feeling a lot of folks will quickly give up on the game because of this alone.

You'll see this message a lot while playing Uchu Shinshuchu

Which is too bad, as I otherwise like Uchu Shinshuchu quite a bit. Although I found the kissing "attack" off-putting at first, it's since grown on me to the point that I now view it as a pretty novel addition to the often-staid platformer genre. Also, the game has a nice, if simple, look to it and a peppy soundtrack that recalls similar offerings of yesteryear (think Mega Man and the like). It helps, of course, that I don't mind dying over and over and over again. On the contrary, it usually cracks me up. If it's likely to drive you mad, you should probably give the game a pass.

Speaking of buying or passing on Uchu Shinshuchu: I paid $2 for it. The game usually goes for $8. I wouldn't recommend buying it at full price. I'm fine with having spent $2 on it, but I doubt I'd be as happy if I'd spent $8.

See also: why The Cruel King and the Great Hero is a better bedtime story than it is a satisfying JRPG

Ten questions with Christophe Galati, maker of Save me Mr Tako

I had a keen eye on Christophe Galati's Save me Mr Tako: Tatsukete Tako-San long before it hit Steam and the Nintendo Switch eShop this time last year.

To put it another way, I drooled over this adorable, octopus-starring platformer back when it was still a Wii U title. And when it was being considered for the New 3DS, too.

In the end, neither of those now-defunct systems were blessed with Save me Mr Tako. Why? Sadly, I don't know. I rather stupidly forgot to ask Christophe about those planned-but-canned releases when he agreed to answer a few questions about the game a couple of weeks ago.

I asked him a number of other intriguing questions, though. Or at least I hope they're intriguing. You be the judge.

The Gay Gamer: How long have you been making games and what prompted you to start making them? Also, what kinds of games did you make early on?

Christophe: I was really into JRPGs and retro games growing up, as my brother was a game collector. I started to create games when I was 12, after discovering RPG Maker with a friend. My first attempt was a Pokémon fan game. It had a Final Fantasy-like battle system and a very dark story with Mudkip sacrifices.

I learned a lot, then decided to make more personal projects, learn pixel art and write stories. I continued using RPG Maker, and showed my work in online forums. At 18, I went to a game school--Isart Digital--in Paris, where I learned more about game design and programming while also working in the industry.

Christophe Galati sporting a Zelda tee

The Gay Gamer: I'm guessing Save me Mr Tako was your first "big" game--or at least the first one that was picked up by a publisher, made you money, etc. How did you go from developing games for fun, or on the side, to this?

Christophe: Correct, Save me Mr Tako is my first game as an indie. I started to create it in 2014, at a time when I was very depressed by the game school I was attending and the internship I had (where I was making a game for a French cheese company). It was the GameBoy's 25th anniversary year, I ate takoyaki for the first time and got the vision of an octopus character. All of this merged in my mind, along with my JRPG inspiration, and led to Tako.

I started with a small prototype that I published in September of that year, and it got a lot of visibility, especially in Japan. It gave me the motivation to make a full game of it, even though I was 19 at the time. I worked on it in my free time for three years, with the help of the composer Marc-Antoine Archier. Then, the game was selected for the Tokyo Game Show in 2016. It was like a dream come true. That’s where I met Nicalis. After that, I decided to leave my job and go full-time indie. The game finally released last October, after four years of hard work.

The Gay Gamer: How was that experience for you overall, now that it's behind you? Are you happy with how Save me Mr Tako turned out and how players responded to it?

Christophe: It’s never behind you. There are still many things I want to do with the game. I’m glad I was able to follow my vision and make the story come to life, as my first goal when designing a game is to tell a story. I’m proud to have made such a large game, but I’m kind of sad it has some balancing issues, as it was never my intention to make a hard game. After four years on my own, I couldn’t feel the difficulty anymore. Hopefully it will be patched soon so more people can enjoy the story.

I also learned a lot by working with a publisher, and feel prepared for what will come next. I’m glad players liked the game and identified with the characters, that it got the "hidden gem" aura and is considered one of the best GameBoy tribute games.

A scene from Save me Mr Tako

The Gay Gamer: Kind of an aside here, but Save me Mr Tako features drag queens. What made you decide to include them in the game?

Christophe: You can thank my friend Mirage for that! She introduced me to drag culture around the time I started development, and brought me to a few drag shows in Paris. It was so much fun! I’m all for making games more inclusive, to help the representation of LGBT characters--that’s something I want to keep doing in my next creations.

The Gay Gamer: Do you think you'll ever return to that world, perhaps with a sequel to Save me Mr Tako? And if you did ever return to it, what do you think you'd add to or change about it? Would it even still be a platformer?

Christophe: I hope I can return to that world someday. Now that I have more distance with it, I realized there were a lot of elements and ideas that came from the projects I made when I was a teenager, with an octopus twist. I guess it’s my own universe, and I want to keep expanding it.

But I don’t want to do a platformer again soon. My goal is to lean toward the JRPG genre, which is more suited to the stories I want to tell. I love to write universe and lore documents, so I may also create new worlds. Who knows what projects I will have the chance to work on in the future?

The Gay Gamer: You recently completed a five-month artist residency program in Kyoto. How did that change how you think about and make games? What are some of the things you learned there that are impacting your next game?

Christophe: Earlier this year, I got the chance to become the first game developer to be selected in a French artist residency. It’s something I've had in mind since seeing a documentary about Villa Medicis a few years ago. That made me think it would be great to have these kind of places open for game creators. When I discovered Villa Kujoyama in Kyoto, I had to apply. It was perfect for my needs, as my games are very inspired by Japanese culture.

Another Save me Mr Tako scene

I really think I grew up during those five months. It gave me more confidence as an artist and in the messages I want to express in my games. Being able to work in such a cool environment, surrounded by artists from very different fields and experiencing life in Japan--all those things inspired me a lot. It also gave me time to take care of myself after crunching on Tako, to get in better shape, to do research and a real pre-production this time.

The Gay Gamer: Speaking of your next game, it seems to be something you're calling the Himitsu Project. It appears to be inspired by Famicom games rather than GameBoy ones this time around. Is that the case? If so, why are you going for a Famicom aesthetic with it?

Christophe: Himitsu Project is a code name. I always saw Tako as a first step in a journey of paying tribute to and mastering the aesthetic of games that inspired me growing up. I started with the GameBoy, and am now moving on to the GameBoy Advance. I agree the current palette of the prototype is very limited, making it look like a Famicom game, but this way people understand it’s a prototype and that nothing is final. (That’s also why the character is still naked.) I hope that in future projects I’ll be able to explore aesthetics like the PS1 and DS, too.

The Gay Gamer: What else can you share about the Himitsu Project at this time? Does it fit into any particular genre or genres? Have any existing games served as inspiration for it? How far along are you in its creation?

Christophe: The game is an action RPG that's inspired by many games, including Illusion of Gaia, Golden Sun and Secret of Mana. The main themes it will deal with are secrets, how our society and people are built on traumas and how that consumes the world from the inside. It will follow several characters, including a drag performer.

Christophe Galati's Himitsu Project

It’s still the beginning of the project, I think it will take at least three years to develop--if I manage to not only work on it in my free time as I did with Tako. That’s what I’ve been working on since I returned to France--applying for funding and creating opportunities for the project.

The Gay Gamer: You say on your Patreon page that you want to form your own company at some point. Why is that?

Christophe: That’s also why I opened a Patreon page recently. It’s part of creating the good working conditions I’d like to have. I was able to develop Tako mostly alone, but in the future, I’d like to work with a team. That will benefit the quality of the final game and allow me to make even more ambitious projects. Starting my own company will help with funding, too, and that will provide even more opportunities. I’m just at the beginning of my career, and I want to see how far I can go to make my dreams come true.

The Gay Gamer: You also say you eventually want that company be seen as a modern Quintet. How exactly do you hope to follow in the footsteps of that company?

Christophe: For me, Quintet will always be a company with an aura, which made meaningful games. That is kind of what I aspire to--I want to create masterpieces, games that will inspire people as those games inspired me growing up.

My goal is not to revolutionize the game industry, but to explore new subjects, use gameplay to tell stories that will reach the heart of players, create great adventures that will make them understand things and help them in their own lives. I see games as an artform, and I want to defend that view. I believe our generation is the game industry of tomorrow, and I want to help make it less abusive and more inclusive.

See also: 'Ten questions with the guys behind the best GameBoy game you've probably never played, Tobu Tobu Girl'

Five reasons I would've paid full price for the Switch version of Dandy Dungeon if Onion Games had forced me to do so

I downloaded and started playing Onion Games' Dandy Dungeon the second it hit the Apple App Store in early 2017. (OK, so maybe it wasn't the exact second. I certainly bought it that same day, though.)

Why? Because Yoshiro Kimura--of Chulip, Little King's Story, and Moon: Remix RPG Adventure fame--not only had a hand in designing it, but served as its director, too.

Also, Kazuyuki Kurashima acted as Dandy Dungeon's art director, and Keiichi Sugiyama handled its music and sound design.

If those names don't mean anything to you, Kurashima previously crafted the character designs for games like Freshly-Pickled Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland and UFO: A Day in the Life, while Sugiyama worked on such classics as Daytona USA 2001 and Rez.



Sadly, although I adored most of the handful of hours I put into the mobile version of this roguelike puzzler, some of its "free to play" elements eventually got on my nerves.

Fast forward to a few months ago when word started spreading that Dandy Dungeon was Switch-bound. Despite my mixed reaction to the original release, I couldn't help but get excited about the prospect of giving it a second chance on what's currently my go-to game system.

Thankfully, those murmurings proved to be true for a change, and Dandy Dungeon is now due to hit the Nintendo Switch eShop on June 27. (Heads up: if you pre-purchase it before that date, you'll only pay $17.50, or 30 percent less than the usual price of $24.99.)

As you've hopefully gathered from this post's headline, I won't be paying anything for it. That's because the folks at Onion Games kindly gave me a free copy.

That's awesome, of course, but even so I'm here to say I would've paid full price for this Dandy Dungeon Switch port if the company had snubbed my request. Why? Here are five reasons:



It's deliciously simple--Dandy Dungeon's gameplay basically consists of being sent into dungeons made up of five-square-by-five-square rooms and then drawing a single line that takes the digital representation of the game's protagonist, Yamada-kun, from their entrances to their exits. There's a bit more to it than that, but only a bit. Such straightforward simplicity may sound boring, but it's not. Helping matters immensely: each room of each dungeon is randomly generated--or at least they seem to be randomly generated. Also, you can finish one in seconds at best or minutes at most.

It's crammed full of content--I can't tell you how much, sadly. That said, I've put just over 20 hours into this iteration of Dandy Dungeon so far, and I have a feeling I've got at least that much more to go before I hit its end credits. (Assuming it has a credit roll, of course.) Granted, some--maybe even a good chunk--of that time has been spent grinding, but I'd argue that grinding in Dandy Dungeon rarely, if ever, feels annoying. On the contrary, it's often surprisingly gratifying, as every trip through a particular dungeon leaves you a tad wiser about its (and your) strengths and weaknesses.

It's cute as a button--Kurashima-san sure knows how to make sprites adorable, doesn't he? That was true in Super Mario RPG, it was true in LIVE A LIVE, and it's true in Dandy Dungeon as well. And the sprites here aren't just statically cute, either--they bounce and lunge and wiggle in ways that'll put a stupid, sappy grin on your face, too.



It's completely bonkers--If you've ever played any of Kimura's other joints, like one of my favorite games of 2018, Black Bird, you know they tend to be bizarre. Dandy Dungeon is no exception. You may have already heard the game's story, which focuses on a 36-year-old guy who hates his job, loves his much younger neighbor, and turns to both for inspiration as he makes his own RPG. At home. In his underwear. That's just the start of Dandy Dungeon's journey to Weirdo Land, however. Its enemies, bosses, even its armor and weapons regularly qualify as eyebrow-raising--though rarely in a scandalous way.

Its soundtrack is subtly incredible--Those of you who played and loved Black Bird might approach Dandy Dungeon expecting a similarly "out there" soundtrack. That's not exactly what you'll get, but don't let that stop you from looking forward to it anyway. What's so subtle about this game's music, you ask? Mainly, it's that most of Dandy Dungeon's tunes are wink-wink-nudge-nudge riffs on classic Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy tracks. They're great and all, but they're unlikely to blow you away. As for what will: the handful of fully original compositions, like the Middle Eastern-esque one that plays whenever a rare monster appears on a stage.

See also: 'Onion Games' Black Bird is the dark Fantasy Zone clone I didn't know I wanted or needed'

How to beat Black Bird's final boss in 'True' mode

If you're anything like me, your first few meetings with the final boss of Black Bird's "True" mode won't end in success.

Oh, hell, who am I kidding? If you're anything like me, your first, I don't know, 30 meetings with it won't end in success.

In fact, I put around 25 hours into this Onion Games release before I saw the credit roll in this mode. What changed? To be honest, I found and watched video footage of someone else fighting this shape-changing baddie that clued me into a few mistakes I was making.

If you're having a similarly difficult time toppling this Black Bird adversary and you're not sure why, the following tips should help.



1. Try your best to reach the boss while in the bird-ship's fully powered-up form. (It should look like mine does in the screenshot above. Also, it should shoot large, circular bullets straight ahead and launch homing missiles that look like little crows from the side.) Believe me when I say this will make the task ahead a lot easier than it'll be if you arrive on the scene without enough ammo.

2. If possible, don't use any bombs during the first two portions of the fight. Should that not be an option for you at this point, at least save a couple of them for the battle's third phase. (Need some specific advice here? Let me know in the comments section below and I'll do my best to help.)

3. Speaking of which, I pretty much always drop a couple of bombs during this brawl's third segment. You'll know you've reached it when feathers--or whatever they're supposed to be--begin to rain down from the top of the screen. It's possible to avoid even the ones this multi-faceted foe launches at you, of course, but doing so takes more skill than I currently possess. At any rate, unleashing a bomb just as this iteration of Black Bird's final boss attempts to pelt you with projectiles not only keeps you from being hit, but it also keeps you from losing your precious homing missiles. (Assuming you're still fully powered-up.)



4. Those of you who are used to Black Bird's "Normal" mode, or those of you who've yet to get past this portion of the "True" mode's last fight, are in for a bit of a surprise now. Not only isn't the scuffle over (as it would be if you were playing the game's easier setting), but it's got two more phases. Thankfully, the first is a breeze. All you need to do during it is avoid the green prisms that surround and then try to squeeze you. The only advice I can give you here is to stay still until the objects lock into position, then move in whatever direction is needed to avoid being pinched. Rinse and repeat until just one of those little buggers remains.

5. Enjoy that rather calm segment of Black Bird's final fight while it lasts, by the way. The fifth and final portion of this clash is the toughest and most chaotic one yet. Or it is until you realize it's not nearly as nightmarish as the game wants you to believe it is. Basically, you've got to deal with two different attack patterns this time around. During the first, the boss inhales a bunch of asteroids from the edges of the screen. Your focus here needs to be on avoiding those rotating, damage-dealing boulders. The only time you should change that tactic is when you lose your homing missiles. If you ever find yourself in that situation, go ahead and drop a bomb--assuming you have any in your arsenal. That should return you to fully powered-up status. And if you don't have any of those explosives? Shoot the green planetoids. They'll drop gems that will produce the same result.



6. The second attack pattern of this phase is the polar opposite of the first. Instead of inhaling objects from the edge of the screen, the boss spews them outward from the center of it. This is where most people freak a bit. I know I did early on. Don't follow in my footsteps. Instead, stick to one side of this many-staged adversary. When she unleashes her fury (you'll know it when you see it), stay close to the line of red "bullets" while shooting the other projectiles she sends your way. Oh, and only use bombs here if you absolutely need to do so. They won't help you power up, so save them for the first segment of the fight.

7. You'll cycle through these patterns until you've died or you've defeated the boss, so get comfortable. And make sure you aim at least some of your bullets at Black Bird's biggest baddie during this Groundhog Day-esque segment of the final battle. This is why it's so important to start the fight fully powered-up. The homing missile-bird thingies that come along with that allow you to pick away at the game's antagonist even when you're not facing her.



8. Fill "Amoris Nova" (apparently that's the name of this iteration of the last boss) with enough ammo and she'll finally explode--and in a fairly satisfying way, if I do say so myself. What's next? Why, the game's score-tally screen and credit roll-cum-ending sequence, of course. Congratulations!

9. One last thing: should you wind up with fewer than 25 million points, you won't see the game's true ending.

If you're struggling with that task, check out my post full of Black Bird tips, tricks, and tactics.

See also: 'Onion Games' Black Bird is the dark Fantasy Zone clone I didn't know I wanted or needed'

Onion Games' Black Bird is the dark Fantasy Zone clone I didn't know I wanted or needed

When Onion Games announced earlier this year that its next release--after the pair of mobile curiosities known as Dandy Dungeon and Million Onion Hotel--would be a PC and Switch shoot 'em up called Black Bird, I was nearly beside myself with excitement.

Not only did I thoroughly enjoy the time I spent with the aforementioned Dandy Dungeon in 2017, but I had similarly thrilling experiences with many of company founder Yoshiro Kimura's previous offerings--Chulip for PS2 and Little King's Story for Wii chief among them.



My enthusiasm for Black Bird waned a bit after seeing the game's first real trailer a few weeks ago. Not only did it look a little too close to Sega's Fantasy Zone for my liking, but it also looked a little too much like a bullet-hell shmup. (The only bullet-hell shmup that's tripped my trigger to date is the gay, smutty Sugar Shooter.)

So, I didn't buy the Switch version of Black Bird upon release as planned. And at that point, I wasn't sure I'd ever pick it up. A few days later, though, I apprehensively plopped down $20 on it anyway. Why? For starters, I'd been looking forward to it for so long that ignoring it seemed wrong. Plus, I felt like both Onion Games and Kimura deserved the benefit of the doubt. Neither has done me wrong yet, so why start second-guessing them now?

Boy, am I glad I went ahead with the purchase. In the 10 days since I bought Black Bird, I've put more than nine hours into it. That's quite an accomplishment when you consider the game has just four stages and its normal mode can be finished in about 20 minutes.



So why do I keep returning to it over and over again? Here are five reasons I'd say are as relevant as any:

Black Bird may be short, but it has a lot of depth--This game may not have a lot of raw content, but it makes up for that by having a lot of components. There are weapon upgrades. Combos. Collectible gems. Bombs. End-of-level bonuses. And they're all intertwined in a way that takes some time to understand. (Hell, I still haven't wrapped my head around a few of them--and I've played Black Bird for nearly 10 hours.) Given that, I actually think this game's brevity is a plus. It allows you to come to grips with its many elements without asking for too much of a commitment.

When everything "clicks," it feels like you've entered another plane of existence--OK, so maybe that's overstating things a bit. I don't think saying it's easy to "get into a zone" while playing Black Bird is hyperbolic, though. I often feel like I'm on autopilot--and I mean that in a good way--whenever I make another run at a high score. (And let there be no doubt: moving up the online leaderboard, and not reaching the end credits, is the focus here.) Is that due to its entrancing soundtrack? Maybe, but I think there's more to it than that, too--like all of the mesmerizing details that are crammed into each level and the sheer number of enemies and projectiles that careen around the screen at any given moment.



Black Bird's amazing soundtrack is like an extension of its gameplay--Don't take that the wrong way; the music here isn't interactive like it is in, say, ASCII's Otocky for the Famicom. Still, Black Bird's gameplay and soundtrack feel intertwined in a way that's unique and unusual for the medium. Even if that weren't the case, though, the tunes here would be well worth trumpeting. Besides the poppy, Beatles-esque theme song, they're so otherworldly vaudevillian they'd surely make Danny Elfman proud.

Some of the enemy designs in this game are so cute I almost feel bad shooting them to smithereens--The key word here is "almost." After all, they'll gleefully gun you down if given the chance. Still, there's no denying most of them are downright adorable. I especially like the ones that bob around the screen with colorful balloons tied around their waists. (I'm also pretty fond of "Aspara-san," who is part asparagus, part rocket, and mumbles "let's kill something" as he launches himself into the air.)



I appreciate that Black Bird's story is bleak--Or at least it seems to be bleak. You see, Black Bird's story is told through painfully short between-stage vignettes that feature no words or voices. (Aside from the occasional exclamation or guffaw, that is.) Still, those bits and pieces make it clear this is no childish fairy tale. A case in point: the game begins with a little girl falling over dead on the street as people pass by without missing a step. After an old man pokes her corpse with a cane, she transforms into the eponymous fowl.

Clearly I'm in love with this peculiar, pint-sized shoot 'em up. That doesn't mean I think everybody will feel the same way about it. If you're not a big fan of the genre, you may not get your money's worth from Black Bird--especially given its $20 price tag. Those of you who fall head over heels for shmups, though, should download it to your system of choice (PC or Switch) as soon as you have the funds.

Sushi Striker's retail release makes me wish Nintendo had done the same with some of the 3DS system's digital-only gems

When Sushi Striker was unveiled last summer, I was sure it would be an eShop-only offering.

After all, that's how Nintendo has treated this kind of game for the majority of the 3DS' lifetime.

So imagine my surprise when the company made it clear Sushi Striker was getting a retail as well as a digital release.

Naturally I went with the physical option--and then proceeded to enjoy the hell out of it over the course of 50-plus hours. (Seriously, if you tend to like action-puzzle games and you've still got a 3DS, pick up a copy as soon as possible. For more information, see my recent "five reasons I've fallen head over heels in love with Sushi Striker" write-up.)

Something I couldn't help but think while working my way through Sushi Striker's considerably beefy story mode (basically its only mode, if I'm to be honest): why didn't Nintendo sell boxed versions of some of its other 3DS eShop titles?

Which 3DS eShop titles am I talking about here? Pocket Card Jockey is one example. So is Rusty's Real Deal Baseball. And then there are the Pushmo, Dillon's Rolling Western, and BoxBoy! games, too. (Don't worry, I'm well aware of last year's physical BoxBoy! collection, but it only saw the light of day in Japan.)

Arguments could be made for retail releases of all these titles, if you ask me. For example, the folks at Game Freak--of Pokémon fame--made Pocket Card Jockey. That alone should have been enough for it to hit store shelves along with the eShop. (Something else that should've helped matters: the fact that Pocket Card Jockey is an absolute gem. I'd go so far as to say it's one of the 3DS' best games, in fact. To learn why I feel so strongly about it, read this post of mine: "If you own a 3DS, you need to buy and play Pocket Card Jockey right now.")

I thought a compilation of the three Mallo-centric puzzlers--Pushmo, Crashmo, and Stretchmo in my neck of the woods--was a sure thing, too, but obviously I was wrong. And I was wrong about Nintendo plopping to the first two Dillon's Rolling Western titles on a cartridge, too.

Of all the digital-only gems mentioned here so far, the one I can most understand not getting a boxed version is Rusty's Real Deal Baseball. Yes, such a product could've gathered all of its in-game purchases (which aren't insubstantial) into one package. Doing so would've required at least a little jiggering, though, and Nintendo probably decided that extra work wasn't worth it, especially given Rusty's undeniably limited appeal.

In the end, I know all of my moaning and hand-wringing here is beyond pointless. The ship's basically sailed on the 3DS, and there's no way Nintendo is going to pump out retail releases of Rusty's Real Deal Baseball, Pocket Card Jockey, Dillon's Rolling Western, or any other "old" digital game this late in the system's life.

Still, I can't help but harp on those missed opportunities a bit. As things stand, each of the games mentioned above eventually may be lost to time because they were never embedded on a cart.

I guess this just means I have to buy a few used 3DS systems and then fill them with these gems before Nintendo shutters the eShop. (I'd need a few to ensure there are plenty of backups, of course.)

Do any of you wish you could've bought physical copies of some of the 3DS' eShop-only treasures? If so, which ones?

If you own a 3DS, you need to buy and play Pocket Card Jockey right now

And if you don't own a 3DS, you need to get one as soon as possible and then use it to play Pocket Card Jockey.

I know everyone's moved on to the Switch. So have I, for the most part. I also know this game hit the North American, European, and Australian 3DS eShop eons ago--in May 2016, to be exact. (It hit the Japanese 3DS eShop all the way back in July 2013.)

Given all of the above, I understand why Pocket Card Jockey isn't exactly trending on Twitter right now. The thing is, I doubt Pocket Card Jockey ever trended on Twitter, or lit up the sales charts--even when it first came out and garnered a good amount of praise.

So why am I writing about it now, more than two years after it made a splash (or maybe I should say plop, given the lack of hype surrounding its launch)? And why am I using yet another blog post to push people to give the game a try? Because I started playing it again last weekend while visiting my husband's family in Ohio and it reminded me of Pocket Card Jockey's brilliance.

I'd intended to play something else (Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey Redux, for the curious), but when I finally opened my trusty "flame red" 3DS I returned to my long-ignored Pocket Card Jockey save file instead.

At first, I stuck with the game's "training" mode, which basically allows you to play quick rounds of golf solitaire. Within a few hours, though, I cautiously moved over to the main mode. I didn't fare too well early on, to be honest, but a quick look at the "How to Succeed in Pocket Card Jockey Without Really Trying" guide I published a couple of years ago turned things around pretty quickly.

I'm currently 20 hours into my latest obsessive stint with Pocket Card Jockey. The first such stint began in 2013 immediately after the Japanese version's release and lasted for more than 60 hours. The second started in 2016 following the North American version's release and lasted an additional 60-plus hours.

In other words, I've now devoted somewhere north of 140 hours to this $6.99 game over the course of five years.

What's the pull for me? The main attraction (or maybe I should say mane attraction?) is that it's a whole lot of fun. For some reason, I find the combination of solitaire, horse racing, adorable graphics, a top-tier soundtrack, and surprisingly intriguing--and at times shockingly dark--interactions with the game's curious cast of characters to be a winning one.

And then, of course, there's the fact that this Game Freak-developed title is beyond addictive. You know how it's impossible to walk away from Tetris until you've completed about 100 levels? Well, Pocket Card Jockey is imbued with a similar quality. But instead of telling yourself, "just one more round," you're more likely to mutter, "just one more horse"--as it's entirely possible to take a steed from colt or filly to retirement in an hour or so.

Still not convinced to give this hidden gem a try? Maybe my Pocket Card Jockey review will do the trick. Or the fact that I declared it to be my favorite game of 2016 might sway you.

Whatever you need to do to convince yourself to buy Pocket Card Jockey, do it. And do it now. You never know when Nintendo's going to pull the plug on the 3DS eShop, and believe me when I say you don't want to go through life without experiencing this delightfully odd game.

A few thoughts on Doki Doki Literature Club

If you want to get me excited about a game, tell me it's short.

It has to be "good," too, of course. But short is right up there in terms of importance when I'm considering which games to play these days.

That's not to say I decided to download and play Doki Doki Literature Club solely because someone told me it's short. I also liked that it's a visual novel--a gaming genre I've enjoyed quite a bit over the last few years. (See my write-ups on 999, Hakuoki, Hotel Dusk, Sweet Fuse, and VA-11 HALL-A for proof.)



What intrigued me most about this free PC game, though, was that it's known for being weird--even a bit (or a lot) freaky.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I played through the first hour or so of Doki Doki Literature Club and found it to be fairly typical, if a bit cheap in terms of production values, as far as visual novels are concerned.

OK, so maybe "typical" isn't the right word to use here. After all, a couple of the protagonist's handful of apparent love interests definitely made me a bit uncomfortable--and not in the comparably wholesome way most potential paramours do in these kinds of games.

Following a rather by-the-numbers opening salvo, during which one of the above-mentioned ladies (a neighbor and friend) twists your arm into joining the eponymous literature club, the atmosphere of this game slowly veers toward the sinister.



Even then, though, it never goes far beyond feeling "off," which makes the shocking twist that pops up almost out of nowhere all the more dramatic.

And after that? Woof. Buckle up, kids; the remainder of Doki Doki Literature Club is a bumpy ride of eye-opening situations and conversations.

To be honest, I didn't find the overall experience as enthralling as many others have, but it certainly didn't bore me. Actually, I take that back; it did bore me for a while. The first half drags on a little too long, if you ask me. Still, I couldn't help but appreciate how that imbued the game with a sort of mounting tension that otherwise might not exist.

Specifically, although Doki Doki Literature Club makes it clear right from the start that you're going to encounter some crazy shit at one point or another (hence the regular warnings that the game is "not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed"), it keeps the "when" a mystery right until the end.



Does this "twist" and all that comes after it make up for the game's less than thrilling first few hours? Not entirely, in my opinion. Thankfully, that doesn't really matter. Doki Doki Literature Club is free, after all, which makes it hard to complain about such things. Plus, the overall experience is enjoyable enough that it's easy to overlook the title's handful of missteps and shortcomings.

Have any of you completed Doki Doki Literature Club? If so, what are your thoughts on it?

Download: Doki Doki Literature Club

What kind of idiot buys Final Fantasy IV: The After Years WiiWare episodes in 2018? This kind!

I nearly did something really dumb earlier this week. Yes, even dumber than buying Final Fantasy: The After Years WiiWare episodes in 2018.

The dumb thing in question: I got this close to ordering a Japanese Wii just so I could buy a bunch of that region's Virtual Console releases before Nintendo stops letting people buy Wii Points on March 26.

Actually, the first part of that plan wouldn't have been the dumbest decision in the world. Used Japanese Wiis aren't too expensive at the moment, after all. What would have been pretty dumb, though: dropping a load of cash on a ton of games I already own in physical form.

In the end, I decided picking up a used Japanese Wii wouldn't be the best use of my hard-earned cash.

I still had the Wii eShop on the brain, though, and that prompted me to start thinking about the North American Virtual Console and WiiWare titles I could purchase with some of the money I previously planned to plop down on the aforementioned imports.

My first thought was to grab some of the old games I've stupidly overlooked since they first hit the Wii eShop--like Phantasy Star for the Sega Master System, Monster Lair for the TurboGrafx-16, and Kirby 64 for the Nintendo 64.

I actually bought two of those games--Monster Lair and Kirby 64--yesterday. Along with those titles, I bought all of the Final Fantasy IV: The After Years WiiWare episodes I'd previously passed on.

Thankfully, I only had to buy three of them--for a total of 1,400 Wii Points ($14). I went in thinking I'd have to pay for all but the initial three episodes and maybe Rydia's, so discovering I'd nabbed three others at some point was quite a thrill.

Why did I waste $14 on all this, especially considering I own Final Fantasy IV: The Complete Collection for the PSP, which includes the entirety of The After Years?

The only explanation I can offer up is it didn't feel right to me that my "copy" of the WiiWare version of The After Years would forever be incomplete if I failed to pay for the rest of its optional content.

Also, I'm more likely to boot up my Wii than my PSP at this point in time, strangely enough. And then there's the fact that I've already completed the game's first three chapters (the prologue as well as Ceodore's and Kain's "tales")--not that I can remember anything about them now.

The question is: will I ever work my way through all of these colorfully titled episodes ("The Eidolons Shackled" and "The Vanished Lunar Whale" among them) I just picked up, or will they forever remain unplayed?

Your guess is as good as mine. I'm certainly going to give it my best shot, though. Final Fantasy IV is one of my all-time favorite games, so I'd really like to experience this direct follow-up--and sooner rather than later.

Have any of you played the WiiWare version of Final Fantasy IV: The After Years, or even one of the versions released for the PSP, PC, or mobile? If so, what did you think of it? And based on that experience, do you think I've made a wise move or gone off the deep end?

A few thoughts on Witch & Hero III now that I've put about four hours into it

The Witch & Hero series and I go way back (see this old post and this one, too, for proof), so of course I bought Witch & Hero III as soon as it hit the Japanese 3DS eShop late last month.

Since then, I've devoted just under four hours to the game's globe-trotting, witch-protecting adventure. For the curious, that's taken me through around 32 of its single-screen stages. Sadly, I have no idea how many the game contains. If I had to guess, I'd go with 50 or so. Even if it ends up being just 40, though, I'll walk away feeling like Witch & Hero III was worth the 400 Yen (about $4) I spent on it.

That doesn't mean I've found Witch & Hero III to be a perfect game thus far. As is the case with its predecessors, it has its flaws. Overall, though, I'm having a lot of fun with it--to the point I'd say it's my second-favorite of the series' three releases.

What do I like about Witch & Hero III and what do I dislike about it? Here are a few examples of both:

Finally, the action takes place on the 3DS' top screen--I've always found it strange that developer Flyhigh Works put the action of the first two Witch & Hero games on the 3DS' bottom screen. Someone there must've agreed with me, as the action in Witch & Hero III takes place on the 3DS' top screen where it belongs. To be honest, I can't say the game feels all that different as a result, but I'm glad its devs made the switch all the same.



The new enemies and environments are a welcome change of pace--If you thought the enemies and environments in the first two Witch & Hero games seemed a bit samey, you'll love all the new ones that pop up in part three. I especially get a kick out of the humongous boss creatures that appear at the end of certain stages. The series' previous entries occasionally tossed larger-than-usual baddies at you, but they were just blown-up versions of regular enemy sprites. Here, they're completely unique--and beautiful--creations that command your attention by taking up a surprisingly large portion of the screen.

That said, the handful of ice stages can die in a fire--I usually enjoy ice stages in games. Not here. That's mainly because Witch & Hero III's ice stages often feel like you're on a pinball table and stuck between 20 or more bumpers. It's funny the first few times you tackle a stage, but after that it's just annoying. The good news is Witch & Hero III features only a handful of ice stages, so my advice is to grit your teeth and get through them as quickly as you can.



I don't enjoy Witch & Hero III's soundtrack as much as I enjoyed the ones featured in earlier entries--This isn't to suggest the backing tunes that play throughout each Witch & Hero III stage suck. Some of them are pretty darn good, but many others are forgettable at best. I don't consider that to be a huge deal, and I don't think you should either, but I thought it was worth mentioning here anyway.

Thank goodness you don't have to control your partner this time around--At first, being able to move both the hero and the witch at the same time while playing Witch & Hero II was a thrilling change of pace from the series' first release. After a while, though, it seemed more cumbersome than anything else. My biggest fear going into Witch & Hero III was that it would double down on this back-of-the-box bullet point. (All of the game's promotional materials show two heroes, as well as the eponymous witch, on each screen.) Thankfully, it doesn't. Although you're fully able to control both heroes (one using the 3DS' circle pad, the other using its face buttons), you also can hand over control of the second hero to the computer. For me, the latter has been far preferable to the former so far.



These games are more strategic than they initially seem, I swear--If you only play the first 10 or so stages of Witch & Hero III, or the first 10 or so stages of the other two Witch & Hero titles, you'll likely wonder why I like them so much. To understand my fascination with them, you really have to go further than that. Eventually, it becomes pretty clear that to master these games, you have to balance a number of components: the witch's health meter, the health meters of the two heroes, the magic (or "blood") meters of all three characters, the "Holy Power" meter, and more. It all sounds a lot easier in theory than it is in practice, and it's one of the main reasons every new Witch & Hero release excites me a bit more than the last.

Get ready to deal with a lot of slowdown--On the one hand, it's cool that many of Witch & Hero III's stages feature more enemy sprites than ever. On the other hand, all of those slowly creeping sprites cause a lot of slowdown. Bizarrely, it hasn't bothered me much to date, but I have a feeling it will bother many who play the game. So, if slowdown is a deal-breaker for you, think long and hard before you plop down $4 on Witch & Hero III when it makes its way onto your region's 3DS eShop in the coming months.

See also: my Witch & Hero review and my Witch & Hero II review

Witch & Hero III hits the Japanese 3DS eShop just in time to be a GOTY 2017 contender

In late October, Circle Entertainment announced that not only was a third Witch & Hero game in the works for the Nintendo 3DS but it would be released by the end of the year.

Well, it just hit the system's eShop--but only in Japan.

Given my love of this odd little series of action-y tower-defense (or witch-defense, to be more accurate) titles, I bought this latest entry as soon as I was able last night.

I've only put about an hour into Witch & Hero III so far, which means I've conquered about six or seven of its stages, but that's been enough for me to know I'll continue to plug away at it over the coming days and weeks until I either beat it or burn out on it.

Curiously, this Witch & Hero game begins much like the first. At the moment, I control only the eponymous hero, racing around each level using the 3DS' circle pad and bumping enemies to death, Ys style, as they dare to approach and even attempt to kill the witch, who sits, petrified (literally, not figuratively), in the middle of the screen.

Based on the game's logo, as well as its teaser trailer, I know it won't ape the original release's gameplay for much longer. Or at least I hope it won't do so for much longer; I'm really itching to see how the developers at Flyhigh Works change things up this time around. (In Witch & Hero II, you can move the witch around the screen using the 3DS' face buttons, which admittedly makes things a bit more hectic than I'd like.)

Anyway, if you own a Japanese 3DS, you could do far worse than buy Witch & Hero III. It's only 350 Yen right now--after Jan. 10, it'll jump to 400 Yen--and it's already proving to be a lot of fun.

If you'd rather not jump right in to the series' third entry, pick up the first one. It's also only 400 Yen ($4 in North America), and until Witch & Hero III proves otherwise, I still think it's the best of the bunch.

Need to know more about it, and maybe Witch & Hero II as well, before handing over your hard-earned cash? Read my Witch & Hero review. Or read by Witch & Hero II review.

Don't fret if you lack a Japanese 3DS. Witch & Hero III is supposed to hit other regions' eShops sometime in early 2018. Keep an eye on publisher Circle Entertainment's Twitter account for news of its release.

And the winners of the 2064: Read Only Memories Vita codes are...

I promised I'd be giving away four digital codes for the Vita version of 2064: Read Only Memories today, and that's what I'm going to do.

Rather than prolong the suspense, let's just get right to it. Here are the winners:

• Felipe Martins
• Sera R
• Shiftyweb
• ZACH

If you're one of the readers named above, leave a comment here by, say, the end of the day on Wednesday, and then we'll figure out the best way for me to send you the code.

Sorry to those of you who didn't win. I'd give you all codes for this intriguing game, if I could.

Raise your hand (and leave a comment) if you want a copy of 2064: Read Only Memories for Vita

I recently interviewed MidBoss' Matt Conn about the just-released Vita version--as well as the upcoming Switch version--of 2064: Read Only Memories. (Keep an eye out for this one-on-one, by the way; I hope to publish it before the year wraps up.)

Shortly after he kindly answered my questions, Conn sent me four codes for 2064: Read Only Memories' Vita release.

Well, it's the time of year to give things to the people you love, so I'm giving these 2064: Read Only Memories codes to the folks who read (and especially comment on) this blog and push me to keep updating it.



All you have to do to win one of these codes is leave a comment (on this post) about why you're itching to play this version of the game. Oh, and leave that comment between now and midnight on Christmas Eve.

On Christmas day, I'll toss all of your names into a hat (really!) and the first four I pull out will get a 2064: Read Only Memories Vita code.

I'll announce the recipients here as well as on Facebook and Twitter that same day, so check out at least one of them on Dec. 25 to see if you're among the lucky winners!

To buy the Romancing SaGa 2 remake for Switch or Vita, that is the question

I've been awaiting an English release of Square Enix's Romancing SaGa 2 remake--or remaster, if you prefer--for a surprisingly long time.

Hell, I've been waiting for the game to be made playable in English, period, since it first hit the Super Famicom back in late 1993.

After all, the Romancing SaGa titles are about the worst games you could attempt to play through if you don't have a mighty firm grasp of the Japanese language thanks to their open-ended nature and ridiculous amount of (kanji-heavy) text.



Sadly, none of the fan translations of these games have ever progressed to a point where they could be said to be playable. As such, I bought the iOS version of the above-mentioned Romancing SaGa 2 remake the day it made its way on to the North American App Store early last year--despite its rather hefty price tag of $17.99.

Unsurprisingly, I've barely touched it in the year-plus since. Oh, I started it, and I didn't find its touchscreen controls to be anywhere near as off-putting as I assumed they'd be, but, as is the case with pretty much every mobile game I've bought to date, I just couldn't stick with it.

So, I've not-so-secretly held out hope that Square Enix would eventually bring the Vita version of the Romancing SaGa 2 remake--released in Japan alongside the mobile iteration in March 2016--to our shores.

Just when I'd about given up on that ever happening, series creator Akitoshi Kawazu took to Twitter to mention he and his team were still working toward that goal (while also prepping a similarly updated version of Romancing SaGa 3).



That was all the way back in April, though, and Kawazu's barely made a peep about the fate of the English release of Romancing SaGa 2's Vita port since, so let's just say yesterday's announcement that it'll be available for purchase on the North American PlayStation Store on Dec. 15 proved to be a bit of a curveball.

Even more of a curveball was the news that PC, PS4, Switch, and Xbox One owners also will be able to buy and play the Romancing SaGa 2 remaster on that same date. (Visit japanesenintendo.com to see the game's latest trailer.)

Which of course begs the question: which version should I pick up?

My initial response was to go with the Vita iteration, as that's the one I've always wanted. It wasn't long before I changed my mind and decided I'd rather experience the game on my new go-to system, the Switch.



As of this morning, though, I'm no longer so sure. Yes, the Switch has a bigger screen and I use it far more than I use my Vita at the moment, but the Vita has a better, longer-lasting battery and it also simply seems like the right "home" for such a game.

What do all of you think I should do here?

Also, are any of you planning to purchase some version of the Romancing SaGa 2 remake when it drops in a few days? If so, which one?

A few thoughts on three digital Switch games: Elliot Quest, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, and Slime-san

I don't know about you, but I've spent a lot of time with a lot of different games in the last month.

For instance, I returned to Yomawari: Night Alone for Vita and started through that system's just-released ports of VA-11 HALL-A and Undertale in that time. Also, I both began and finished Golf Story and Super Mario Odyssey for Switch.

I'm still plugging away at the Vita titles, of course, but that doesn't mean I'm letting my Switch collect dust as I do so. In fact, I'm enjoying more Switch games than ever thanks to some kind publishers (which provided me with press codes for the following titles).

Speaking of which, here are a few thoughts on the trio of digital Switch games currently doing their darndest to gobble up my free time:



Elliot Quest--Many have heralded this game as a Zelda II: The Adventure of Link clone. Those are hollow words to me, as I don't have a high opinion of that particular NES "classic." Still, Elliot Quest's art style has appealed to me since I first laid eyes on it, so I promptly added it to my lengthy "play as soon as possible" list despite my lack of love for the first Zelda sequel.

As for what I think of Elliot Quest now that I've put about two hours into it: it's very nice--although perhaps not as compelling as I assumed it would be? I'm not entirely sure why I feel that way about the game, to tell you the truth. It may be due to its rather languid pace, or it may be its overall lack of tension. And it doesn't help, of course, that I'm not yet clear as to why I'm working my way through the sprawling stages of Elliot Quest's beautifully pixelated world.

Another element of Elliot Quest I don't exactly love: I keep getting stuck. I know that's supposed to inspire me to use my noggin, but the tactic only goes so far with me. If I spend, say, 45 minutes trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to go to advance a game's story, I'm not going to stick with it for very long.

Which is a shame, as I really do appreciate a lot of what Elliot Quest offers. As I said earlier, it looks great, it controls well, and its basic gameplay is solid (if not spectacular). Despite all that, I'm not finding it as interesting as I expected to before I first booted it up and thus won't be surprised if I walk away from it long before I reach its credit roll.



Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime--It should be clear with one glance at the screenshot above why this game has intrigued me ever since it was first made available to PC and Xbox One gamers back in late 2015.

Of course, a dayglow, 1980s-inspired aesthetic doesn't mean much if the accompanying gameplay sucks. Thankfully, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime impresses in that area, too. Rather than speed through levels like you do in most side-scrolling shoot 'em ups, here you alternate between slowly advancing your spherical ship through each labyrinthine stage and utilizing its bevy of weaponry to take out evil oncomers.

In a way, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime reminds me of both the Mii Force 3DS StreetPass title and an old NES cart called Solar Jetman. Given my love of those games, I guess I shouldn't be shocked that this one has sunk its claws into me as deeply as it has in the short time I've spent with it.

Granted, I'm tackling Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime all on my own, and the vibe's sure to be different if at least one other person joins in the journey. (I believe four can play at once, if you have the right setup.) Regardless, I'm really digging how it feels like a thoughtful, methodical take on the ages-old shmup genre when experienced solo.



Slime-san--While Elliot Quest apes The Adventure of Link, this game apes Super Meat Boy. Or so I've heard, at least. I can't say if that's true or not as I've never played that supposedly masochistic platformer. At any rate, I've had my eye on Slime-san since I first heard it was coming to Switch, as it seems like the perfect play-whenever-you-have-a-few-free-minutes game.

Is it? Based on my experience with Slime-san so far, I'd say the answer is yes. In fact, you can easily breeze through a number of its levels in a few minutes--or at least you can if you're properly skilled. Some of Slime-san's bite-sized stages are absolutely brutal. Expect to die a lot. Expect to die so many times, and so often, that dying no longer means anything to you. That's not a critique, by the way; in fact, I like that dying in this game doesn't bother me in the least. If anything, it prompts me to chuckle and then grit my teeth in anticipation of yet another run at a particular level.

My only complaint about Slime-san: it ramps up in difficulty surprisingly quickly. Walking away from it for a bit has helped me overcome most of the obstacles (aka seemingly insurmountable stages) the game has thrown my way, but there's no guarantee that tactic will continue to help down the road. Oh, well, I'll deal with that issue if and when it becomes a reality. In the meantime, I'll chip away at it whenever the fancy strikes.

See also: 'seven 3DS, Switch, and Vita games I'm determined to at least start before the end of 2017'