So, Keita Takahashi's Tenya Wanya Teens is never coming out, is it?

Don't you just hate it when an interesting looking game completely avoids your radar? I sure do.

Which is why I was really annoyed with myself this past weekend when I came across Keita Takahashi's weirdo (I mean that in a good way) Tenya Wanya Teens for the first time.

For the similarly uninformed: Tenya Wanya Teens is a two-player experience that puts gamers into the shoes of one of a handful of very Keita Takahashi-esque boy characters and then tasks them with brushing their teeth, taking showers, peeing--you know, the sorts of actions that appear in pretty much every video game under the sun (or not)--all on command and all while avoiding humiliating themselves in front of their girlfriends by undertaking the wrong actions.

Oh, and each of the aforementioned actions are input using a mammoth 16-button controller--or at least they were during all of the game's demo sessions held to date.



Given the above, along with the fact that the game hasn't been seen in public for some time now, I'm not feeling very confident at the moment that Tenya Wanya Teens will ever see the light of day.

One possible solution that's been mentioned elsewhere but is unlikely to be put to use would be to bring the game to the Wii U (via the eShop, I suppose) and in the process map the inputs to virtual buttons that appear on the system's GamePad.

That said, I'd also love to own one of those crazy 16-button controllers, so I wouldn't complain if the game's backers, The Wild Rumpus and Venus Patrol, go some other route instead (or as well).

What does it say about me that the first thing I noticed about this photo was that these guys are playing a Dreamcast game?

I mean, it's great that they have visible abs, nice enough legs and an acceptable taste in underwear, but what I really want to see is: Which Dreamcast game are they playing?

I'm guessing it's something "typical" like SoulCaliber or Dead or Alive 2. They'd earn my undying respect, though, if it were ChuChu Rocket! or even one of the Power Stone titles.

Via videogamesmademegay.tumblr.com)

Pretty pink pads

I've owned a number of controllers over the years, but not one of them has been pink. The same can't be said of Abby Elaina Hall (aka A Bit Disarrayed on Flickr), who owns a trio of bubblegum-colored controllers (current-gen ones, no less).

I won't hate on her too much, though, since she was nice enough to take a snapshot of said controllers and then share the resulting pic (below and here) on her Flickr photostream.



That salmon-y Wii wheel is especially snazzy, isn't it? If I were still playing Mario Kart Wii (I gave it up at the suggestion of my shrink), I'd pick up one of them along with a pink Wii Remote Plus.

Incredibly cute? Check. Completely impractical? Check!

When I (finally) pick up a copy of Dragon Quest VIII later this year, I think I'll pick up one of Hori's slime controllers (below), too.

Photo: Sharyn Morrow

Sure, they're completely impractical, but they're so cute! And at $25 a pop, they're not all that expensive, either. Right? Right?!?

(This is where you politely nod and agree with me even if you think I'm crazy.)

In my oh-so-gay opinion: The five most iconic controller designs of all time

Well, I've become quite an opinionated old poof, haven't I?

Don't worry, I won't overdo these "in my oh-so-gay opinion" pieces--I just have to get a few of them out of my system before I return to the status quo.

Anyway, the focus of this one is pretty straightforward, don't you think? For those of you who don't think that, here's the deal: The five controllers below are the ones I consider to be the most iconic in terms of design.

Atari 2600 Joystick--If you're, say, under 30, you likely looked at the image above and thought: What in the hell is that? The rest of you, on the other hand, probably thought: Oh, yeah, I remember using that to play Crystal Castles! The latter response is reason enough to add the Atari 2600 joystick to this list, but it isn't the only reason. Another: It's the definition of sleek simplicity, which makes it the ideal bookend to the last controller on this list.

NES controller--If I had decided to put these controllers in order of iconicness (I know, not a real word) instead of in order of release, I would have placed the NES pad in the pole position. After all, it's pretty much a perfect storm when it comes to controller design--what with its understated, rectangular shape, its subdued black-gray-red color scheme, its game-changing (literally and figuratively) d-pad and its Konami-code-capacitating A and B buttons.

Super Famicom controller--In a way, Nintendo's designers didn't take all that many risks while developing the Super Famicom's controller. Basically, they added a couple of colorful buttons to the standard Famicom/NES pad and called it a day. Still, those colorful buttons and another seemingly simple change--which involved replacing all of the NES controller's sharp corners with ergonomic, eye-pleasing curves--were enough to secure this pad's place in the hearts and minds of gamers around the world.

PlayStation Dual Shock--I'm sure some will squawk that I decided to include this controller and not the controller that inspired it (the analog-enabled one that shipped with the Nintendo 64). The fact is, although I fully acknowledge that the folks at Nintendo were first to bring the analog stick to the table, I think Sony's staffers took the idea to the next level--from a design standpoint, at least--with the slick, sexy Dual Shock.

Wii Remote--Earlier, while describing the Atari 2600 joystick, I used the words "sleek simplicity." Well, those words ably describe the all-white Wii remote, too. Sure, Nintendo's designers may have stolen a few ideas from the folks at Apple, but you can't really blame them, can you? Plus, although it's easy to call their design choices "safe" today, they were considered shockingly risky when the controller was unveiled at the 2005 Tokyo Game Show.

See also: 'In my oh-so-gay opinion: The five most iconic systems designs of all time'