Haggar the whore-ible (or, enjoying the carnal pleasures of the sexy, gay, Final Fight-esque brawler, Strange Flesh)

I don't often write about "adult" games here.

Of course, I don't often play such games, either, and that's not because I'm a prude or because I otherwise turn my nose up at them.

Actually, I love playing games that titillate--especially if that titillation is aimed at the LGBT community.



Unfortunately, few games featuring content that's both adult and gay ever ping my radar. Besides the one discussed here, the only others that have done so in recent years are the steamy visual novel, Coming Out on Top, and the surprisingly sexy bullet-hell shmup, Sugar Shooter. (I've also written about the beef-tastic JRPG called Ana Holic!, but I've yet to play it.)

Given all of the above, it shouldn't be surprising to hear I was more than a bit excited when I first became aware of Strange Flesh (via this eye-opening--not to mention NSFW--teaser image) just before its release in late October.

At least, I was excited until I discovered the game was an old-school beat 'em up in the same vein as Double Dragon, Final Fight, Golden Axe, River City Ransom--you know the drill.

You see, although I've long been intrigued by side-scrolling brawlers like the ones I just named, I've rarely enjoyed playing them. Or maybe I should say I've only enjoyed playing them to a point. A few stages in, I'm bored to tears and ready to tackle something--anything--else.



Still, I decided to give Strange Flesh a chance. An hour or so later, I walked away. Not because I'd grown tired of it, as I seemingly always do with these kinds of games, but because I'd beaten it.

Granted, Strange Flesh only offers up four stages, so finishing it isn't the most noteworthy of accomplishments. I actually appreciated its brevity, though. Far too many games these days--free or otherwise--require you to dedicate hours upon hours to them. Encountering one that asks for about 45 minutes of your time is refreshing.

You know what else I found refreshing about Strange Flesh? Its graphics, soundtrack, and gameplay. All three components are so convincingly "late 1980s beat 'em up" it's hard not to be astounded by them.

Actually, that statement needs to be amended just a bit. After all, while the bulk of Strange Flesh acts, looks, and sounds like a game that came out alongside Golden Axe and Final Fight, neither of those quarter-munchers (nor any of their counterparts, as far as I'm aware) feature gameplay, graphics, or music that could be considered "adult."



Strange Flesh, on the other hand, is full of such content. Hell, you'll see something eyebrow-raising every few steps as you play through this PC game. (Download it or launch its browser version at greatestbear.com.)

After you punch, kick, and tackle the game's "figments" and "projections" (all of the action here takes place in the player's mind), you, uh, "finish them off," too--and you do so in various ways that would make most moms blush, or worse.

Speaking of which, a little disclaimer: if regularly witnessing pixelated depictions of gay sex (some of which are kinkier than others) turns you off, you should stay far away from Strange Flesh.

Which isn't to say that's all there is to this title. The core gameplay is both smooth and satisfying, even when controlled via keyboard-button presses. (Note: this is how I played through Strange Flesh. Three times.) In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if Strange Flesh were fornication-free, it would be well worth a look by all fans of the genre.



As things stand, though, it's hard to give it a blanket recommendation. Although I'm sure some straight folks will get a kick out of it, many more likely will find it disgusting or distasteful. I have the feeling the same could be said of a sizable portion of the LGBT community.

Still, I can't be the only person in the world who finds the idea of playing a pervy, gay Double Dragon clone thrilling. To anyone who feels similarly, I say: give Strange Flesh a try.

See also: Strange Flesh's spot-on instruction manual

Dear Marvelous: make a gay version of Uppers (Vita) and I'll gladly buy two copies

I know there's no real chance that what I'm suggesting here will happen, but I'm going to suggest it anyway.

After all, I can't imagine there are many male gay gamers out there who wouldn't like to see and play a same-sex version of the following over-the-top beat 'em up.

Granted, I'm not calling for the folks at Marvelous, led by Senran Kagura producer Kenichiro Takaki, to simply replace the ladies in Uppers, their upcoming Vita release, with men--which seemingly would mean a whole lot of scenes showing the game's muscly protagonists motorboating the pecs of their similarly manly onlookers.



Actually, I'd be fine if they did just that, but I'd prefer something a bit more creative. For example, they could give Uppers: Gay Edition a kind of worship-y vibe by having the aforementioned onlookers (who would be guys, just in case it needs to be repeated) squeeze the brawlers' muscles or even bury their faces in the studs' armpits.

What do you think? Am I alone in finding such a scenario appealing, or would some of you like to experience it, too? Or maybe you'd like to see something similar, but aimed at gay women? In that case, how would you want its content to differ from what's showcased in the trailer above?

Even if you don't agree with me and my idea, what is your opinion of the version of Uppers the world (Japan, in particular) will get in a few months? Do you think it's trashy and crass, or do you think it looks like childish fun?

Let's Play: 'Which Box Art is Better?' (Code of Princess edition)

I have extremely fond memories of playing through--or at least trying to play through--Treasure's Guardian Heroes back in the day. As such, I sat up and took notice of Agatsuma Entertainment's eerily similar 3DS-based brawler, Code of Princess, after reading that it was developed by some of the same folks who made the aforementioned Sega Saturn classic.

Another piece of news that prompted me to sit up and take notice of this, er, "bosomy" beat 'em up: Atlus has decided to localize and release it in North America sometime this autumn.

Will the art below actually grace the covers of North American copies of Code of Princess when they hit store shelves later this year? I kind of doubt it, but I'm going to suspend my feelings of disbelief for the time being so all of us can enjoy another round of "Which Box Art is Better?"

For those of you who are game (pun intended), here's the cover art that's been released--but not confirmed to be final, as far as I'm aware--for the North American version of Code of Princess:

And here's the box art that was created for the game's Japanese release:

As for which one I prefer: Well, I'm sure some of you (perhaps many of you) are going to disagree with me, but I like the Japanese cover more than its North American counterpart.

Sure, the former is a bit crowded and cacophonous, but I like that it features a number of characters and quite a bit of color. I find the latter, on the other hand, to be just a bit too straightforward--especially for such a crazy title.

How about you guys and gals? Does the more balanced North American art give you goosebumps, or does the jumbled, messy Japanese art make you jump for joy?

See also: Previous 'Which Box Art is Better?' posts

China Warrior + Takahashi Meijin + toy turtles = one awesome PC Engine commercial

True story: I've never played Hudson's oft-criticized, PC Engine-based fighter, China Warrior (known as The Kung Fu in Japan).

I'm actually planning to right that wrong soon, but until that day arrives I'll content myself by watching and re-watching the following commercial, which features, at one point, Takahashi Meijin and a quartet of toy turtles.



Hopefully it's made clear to folks who understand Japanese why the "16 shots per second" star is shown, in a commercial that was supposed to prompt gamers to run out and buy a side-scrolling brawler, sitting atop a pile of said reptiles?

Note: This post originally appeared on my other gaming blog, iwasateenagepcenginefan.wordpress.com.

Yoshinori Ono on Final Fight's Poison: She's supposed to be mysterious

Attention Poison fans: EGM just (well, yesterday) posted an extremely interesting interview between its own Eric Patterson--you may remember him as Shidoshi from the old Diehard GameFan magazine--and Capcom's Yoshinori Ono.

"Poison" by Speeh

Rather than pick Ono's brain about his upcoming 360, PS3 and Vita brawler, Street Fighter X Tekken, Patterson picks the producer's brain about one of that title's key cast members: Poison, the lovable female thug who first appeared in Final Fight.

The highlight of this fascinating tête-à-tête, in my opinion: Ono seemingly backtracks on his earlier assertion that the fuchsia-coifed character is trans- gender. (In late 2007 he told EGM that "in North America, Poison is officially a post-op transsexual. But in Japan, she simply tucks her business away to look female.")

While chatting with Patterson, however, Ono said, "Capcom’s official stance has and will continue to be that we don’t have a stance technically. It’s supposed to be mysterious; if people want to talk about it on forums or what not they’re welcome to, but we’re not going to give you a straight answer because, well, there isn’t one. We deliberately want to make it a mysterious thing—that question of what’s at the core of this character. At the end of the day, we don’t have an actual canonical answer to that."

That's not the only eyebrow-raising comment included in this Poison-focused Q&A. Read the rest of them by checking out the full interview here. You may also want to check out this NeoGAF thread, which was started by Patterson and features a number of interesting insights.

Twinkle Queen

I have to be honest: I'm only writing about this upcoming Wii brawler because it sports the gayest name since Gay Gayerson.

So, why is it called Twinkle Queen? I don't know, to tell you the truth, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that it features characters pulled from four Japanese H games.

According to andriasang.com, the title--which will hit Japanese store shelves on June 24--will focus on four-player battles, though someone over on NeoGAF suggests it will include party-based mini-games, too.