The gayest game ever?

For me to call it "the gayest ever," a game would have to include a great many components. For instance, it would have to include bodybuilders, divas (you know, like Lady Gaga or Madonna), frottage (at least), glitter, harness boots, jockstraps and show tunes.

Because Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals: Sing & Dance, which allows folks to sing and dance through 32 of the Tony Award-winning composer's classic tunes and is set to be released on Sept. 14, will include just two of the aforementioned components (maybe three--I'm not sure about the glitter), I can't call it "the gayest game ever" like the guy behind the Joe. My. God. blog did yesterday.



Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in reenacting the balcony scene from "Evita" while clutching my Wii Remote. (The real one, not the one some of you sickos are imagining.)

I'd be a lot more interested in Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals: Sing & Dance, though, if it featured a few bodybuilders shaking their moneymakers while wearing harness boots and jockstraps.

More bullets, more buff dudes, more ... butts?

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Another day, another Sugar Shooter 2 demo

Did you download the Sugar Shooter 2 demo that I mentioned in this post early last week? If so, you may want to head back to the Dudedle Studio blog shortly, as a brand spanking new demo of this upcoming, bara-tastic, bullet-hell shmup was added to the site on Friday.



Said demo not only includes a number of bug fixes and other improvements, but it also includes (as far as I can tell) a second stage. So, download away--especially if you're at all interested in shooting the clothes off of a bevy of cartoonish bodybuilders.

Get yer pipin' hot Sugar Shooter 2 demo here!

And when I say it's piping hot, I mean that literally--as in, it's freshly released--and figuratively--as in, well, it features some smokin' content, just like the first Sugar Shooter.

I've only played the Sugar Shooter 2 demo for a few minutes this far, but already I can tell it's going to be just as fun as--if not more fun than--its fabulously gay predecessor.

One thing that's certain at this point: Sugar Shooter 2 will have a lot more options--such as a bevy of difficulty settings and selectable "partners"--than Dudedle Studio's original effort.

To see what the Japanese version of this boss-rush, bullet-hell shmup for bara lovers looks like in action, check out this trailer:



If you'd rather experience it firsthand, download the one-stage demo of the game from the Dudedle Studio blog.

It appears Sugar Shooter 2 will be playable on both Macs and Windows-based PCs, by the way--something that couldn't be said about the series' initial installment.

Finally, for more information on the first Sugar Shooter, read these previous posts: 'A somewhat gay review of Sugar Shooter (PC)' and 'I think it's about time I played a bullet-hell shmup starring beefy boys in underwear'

The Muscle March fanfic you've all been waiting for (don't deny it)

I don't know about you, but when I first played Namco Bandai's wacky WiiWare game, Muscle March, I thought to myself, "You know, this could inspire some really great fanfic!"

OK, so that's not what I was thinking while I played the game for the first time. Still, I'd be lying if I said that I was anything other than intrigued when one of my most favorite deviantartists, madamluna, shared (via Twitter) a link to a piece of Muscle March fanfic she'd penned a while back.



The piece is called "Love and Muscles," by the way, and it's quite a hoot. (Does anyone under the age of 80 use that term? No? Oh, well.) Don't take my word for it--read the following paragraphs and find out for yourself:

Call him typical, but Pedroso lived for the hunt. The hunt of the heart, that is--the passionate dance of flirtation and courtship that set his Spanish blood a-boiling. The stolen glances, the gentle kisses, the tiny, expensive presents given to coax out the glow in a lady's eyes! Oh, just the thought of it was enough to have him dancing on air for days! Pedroso knew his stuff, all right, and many a señorita had fallen gracefully into his arms.

Which is why it nearly broke the poor man's heart when Abebe, gorgeous, chiseled, newest-member-of-the-team Abebe, spurned Pedroso's every advance. He used the man's rose petals to line his pet chick's 'fro-nest, pulled away in boredom at his veiled romantic poetry, and didn't look at all impressed when the keepsake silver bracelet snapped in half as he flexed his wrist. Pedroso could only watch in horror as every one of his attempts turned into a disaster right before his eyes, and at the end of it all he dragged himself back to his villa, in the deepest despair he'd ever known.

If you were at all tickled by what you just read, I'd highly recommend reading the rest of the piece at archiveofourown.org.

See also: Previous Muscle March posts

The best (and probably gayest) ESRB ratings summary ever

The Entertainment Software Ratings Board recently posted on its website a ratings summary for Namco Bandai's upcoming WiiWare release, Muscle March. To say it's hilarious is an understatement of monumental proportions.

"Bodybuilders dressed in super-tight Speedos chase down a "protein thief" through cities, villages, and space in this whimsical puzzle-action game. Pedestrians, straphangers, school teachers, farmers, police officers, and librarians are fully clothed as they go about their business; the bodybuilders—not so much.

"Players must perform correct poses to fit through dozens of holes-in-walls created by the fleeing thief. If players do not pose correctly while running, their muscle men (and one woman) will crash through the walls and lose their stamina. Losing stamina means collapsing to the ground face-first, buttocks-last (flexed gluteus facing the screen). 

"It may also mean that between stages, the happy bodybuilders can dance together in space, throw rocks by the riverside, or flex their pectorales major on menu screens (the lone female bodybuilder flexes her chest muscles, too).

"But the running gag in the game is the odd juxtaposition of traipsing bodybuilders, scantily clad, with the fully clothed working city dwellers—librarians' eyes agape at seeing their reference sections destroyed by the Posing Ones."

I find the bolded portions particularly funny, by the way.

Oh, and if anyone knows who wrote the rating summary for this game, please let me know--I want that person's job :)

Of beefcake and bubble butts

IGN.com just posted a brief gameplay video of what is sure to be next year's gayest (if not greatest) WiiWare release, Muscle March:



Don't you just love how the bodybuilders' beefy little butts swing to and fro?

Namco Bandai *finally* announces an American release for Muscle March

My prayers have been answered!

The folks over at joystiq.com just posted an "announcement trailer" that touts the American release of Namco Bandai's bizarrely homoerotic WiiWare title, Muscle March.



The trailer doesn't mention when the game will be hitting our shores, but G4TV's Stephen Johnson mentions in an article about the much-anticipated announcement that it will arrive sometime "this winter." (He also mentions 2010, so I'm guessing it will be released within the first few months of next year.)

I've already saved up my 800-1000 Nintendo points (I can't imagine it'll cost any more than that). How about you?

My prayers have been answered: Muscle March is coming to the West!

I've bought my fair share of WiiWare games in the last few years, but I doubt I've enjoyed any of them as much as I'll enjoy Namco-Bandai's Muscle March.

I mean, how could I *not* enjoy chasing protein-powder-stealing baddies while sporting a thong and striking poses that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger proud?

Anyway, according to the folks over at GamerBytes.com, the steroid-stuffed title will soon be released in Germany (and, presumably, the rest of Europe), which means it'll likely will show up in the States sooner or later as well.

In the meantime, take a gander at the game's oh-so-Japanese trailer:

More Muscle March (WiiWare) footage

Namco-Bandai's Muscle March has hit WiiWare, and at least one Japanese gamer has given it a go, as evidenced by this video:



An in-the-know gamer over on the NeoGAF forums says the title recalls the PS2 classic Katamari Damacy (also created by Namco) thanks to its hilarious premise, addictive gameplay and twee music.

Here's to hoping the game is released in the U.S. at some point, though I'm not holding my breath until that happens...

Muscle March: The game that will get me to buy a Japanese Wii

Captain Rainbow. Fatal Frame IV. Fragile. Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. I've been tempted to buy a Japanese Wii system to play each of these titles - none of which have been or likely will be localized for the North American market - but so far I've fought the urge and held on to my hard-earned cash.

A soon-to-be-released WiiWare game may force me, finally, to cave in, though. The name of that game: Muscle March, by Namco-Bandai. I could craft a few paragraphs explaining why this game has me all atwitter, but I think the following teaser/trailer will suffice:



Other than that, all you need to know is that the game will be released (in Japan only, of course) on May 26th and will cost 800 Nintendo points. That sounds more than fair to me, though I guess in my case the cost will be whatever a Japanese Wii goes for these days ($329 at Play-Asia.com - yikes!) *plus* 800 Nintendo points. Oh, well, you can't put a price on happiness, right? :)