Haggar the whore-ible (or, enjoying the carnal pleasures of the sexy, gay, Final Fight-esque brawler, Strange Flesh)

I don't often write about "adult" games here.

Of course, I don't often play such games, either, and that's not because I'm a prude or because I otherwise turn my nose up at them.

Actually, I love playing games that titillate--especially if that titillation is aimed at the LGBT community.



Unfortunately, few games featuring content that's both adult and gay ever ping my radar. Besides the one discussed here, the only others that have done so in recent years are the steamy visual novel, Coming Out on Top, and the surprisingly sexy bullet-hell shmup, Sugar Shooter. (I've also written about the beef-tastic JRPG called Ana Holic!, but I've yet to play it.)

Given all of the above, it shouldn't be surprising to hear I was more than a bit excited when I first became aware of Strange Flesh (via this eye-opening--not to mention NSFW--teaser image) just before its release in late October.

At least, I was excited until I discovered the game was an old-school beat 'em up in the same vein as Double Dragon, Final Fight, Golden Axe, River City Ransom--you know the drill.

You see, although I've long been intrigued by side-scrolling brawlers like the ones I just named, I've rarely enjoyed playing them. Or maybe I should say I've only enjoyed playing them to a point. A few stages in, I'm bored to tears and ready to tackle something--anything--else.



Still, I decided to give Strange Flesh a chance. An hour or so later, I walked away. Not because I'd grown tired of it, as I seemingly always do with these kinds of games, but because I'd beaten it.

Granted, Strange Flesh only offers up four stages, so finishing it isn't the most noteworthy of accomplishments. I actually appreciated its brevity, though. Far too many games these days--free or otherwise--require you to dedicate hours upon hours to them. Encountering one that asks for about 45 minutes of your time is refreshing.

You know what else I found refreshing about Strange Flesh? Its graphics, soundtrack, and gameplay. All three components are so convincingly "late 1980s beat 'em up" it's hard not to be astounded by them.

Actually, that statement needs to be amended just a bit. After all, while the bulk of Strange Flesh acts, looks, and sounds like a game that came out alongside Golden Axe and Final Fight, neither of those quarter-munchers (nor any of their counterparts, as far as I'm aware) feature gameplay, graphics, or music that could be considered "adult."



Strange Flesh, on the other hand, is full of such content. Hell, you'll see something eyebrow-raising every few steps as you play through this PC game. (Download it or launch its browser version at greatestbear.com.)

After you punch, kick, and tackle the game's "figments" and "projections" (all of the action here takes place in the player's mind), you, uh, "finish them off," too--and you do so in various ways that would make most moms blush, or worse.

Speaking of which, a little disclaimer: if regularly witnessing pixelated depictions of gay sex (some of which are kinkier than others) turns you off, you should stay far away from Strange Flesh.

Which isn't to say that's all there is to this title. The core gameplay is both smooth and satisfying, even when controlled via keyboard-button presses. (Note: this is how I played through Strange Flesh. Three times.) In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if Strange Flesh were fornication-free, it would be well worth a look by all fans of the genre.



As things stand, though, it's hard to give it a blanket recommendation. Although I'm sure some straight folks will get a kick out of it, many more likely will find it disgusting or distasteful. I have the feeling the same could be said of a sizable portion of the LGBT community.

Still, I can't be the only person in the world who finds the idea of playing a pervy, gay Double Dragon clone thrilling. To anyone who feels similarly, I say: give Strange Flesh a try.

See also: Strange Flesh's spot-on instruction manual

My favorite games of 2017

If you had told me at the beginning of this year I'd play so many great games--so many great Switch games, especially--I would've responded by dramatically rolling my eyes.

As I've said a number of times in the last few months, I didn't expect to buy a Switch so early in its life--and certainly not before sometime in 2018.

Now I've got an actual "slew" of Switch games--so many, in fact, that I'm having a hard time keeping up with them. (On a related note, look for me to publish a bunch of "a few thoughts on" posts in the new year.)

Amazingly, I'm having a similarly hard time keeping up with all the Vita games I've bought since 2017 started. Who would've thought that'd be the case given the system's worldwide nosedive over the last 12 months? Certainly not me.

A couple of those recently acquired Vita games made a big enough impression on me that I'm including them among my favorite games of this year. They're joined by handful of Switch games, a trio of 3DS carts, and a PC title, too.



Golf Story (Switch)--In a year of surprising games, this probably was the most surprising of all for me. That's kind of funny when you consider Golf Story is just what its name implies: a digital Switch title that's one part golf, and one part story (or RPG). You're just as likely to be sent on a fetch quest or be asked to solve a mystery as you are to shoot a round of Scotland's national sport against an NPC. OK, so I personally don't think its writing is good enough to be compared to EarthBound, but that doesn't mean I think it's drivel. In fact, I'd say it's just fun--and weird--enough to bring a smile to your face more regularly than your average RPG. Even if that weren't the case, though, I'd call myself a Golf Story fan anyway thanks to how all of its components combine to create a unique experience that intrigues throughout its 15-plus-hour running time.



The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)--I've made no secret of the fact that I'm generally not a fan of three-dimensional Zelda games. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of them, but despite that they usually have a hard time holding my interest past the first few hours. Well, Breath of the Wild bucks that trend--or at least it has so far. I regularly get lost while wandering around its lush landscapes, I've got to admit, but it's yet to bring my progress to a screeching halt. Does this mean me finishing Breath of the Wild is a done deal? Unfortunately, it doesn't. Still, I think that result is far more likely than it was when I attempted to play through Majora's Mask, The Wind Waker, and Twilight Princess thanks to the intriguingly open-ended nature of this particular Zelda adventure.



Miitopia (3DS)--I was sure I'd get a kick out of Miitopia the second I laid eyes on it. Still, I was shocked when I enjoyed its demo as much as I did. In fact, I enjoyed it so much I put more than three hours into it before giving it a rest. I've now put more than twice that into the full game, and yet it continues to make me chuckle and otherwise turn me into a grinning idiot. There's no question this RPG is an odd duck, not to mention quite a bit more "casual" than what is typical of the genre, but for me, both of those qualities conspire to make Miitopia far more entertaining than it would be if it leaned toward the traditional. I do suspect Miitopia's schtick may wear thin sooner rather than later, but that's OK; I already feel like I got my money's worth out of it.



Poochy & Yoshi's Woolly World (3DS)--I'm one of those grumps that like to grouse about how Yoshi's Island is the only good Yoshi game. I regularly grumble in this way even though I didn't exactly hate Yoshi's New Island. Well, this portable port of Woolly World is miles more impressive than that 2014 release, as well as pretty much every other Yoshi title I've played since the first. One reason for that is it's gorgeous--even on the low-res 3DS screen. Another is it provides a good amount of fun. Also, it eventually offers up a good challenge for people (like me) who don't necessarily possess top-notch platforming skills--something that can't exactly be said of every Yoshi title that's followed in Island's wake.



Project Octopath Traveler demo (Switch)--Yes, this is a demo. But like the Bravely Default demo Square Enix made available well in advance of that 3DS game's release, this one is both meaty and interesting enough to prompt someone like me to declare it "game of the year"--or at least one of my favorite gaming experiences of the year. The aspect of the Project Octopath Traveler demo that most stood out at me while playing through it recently (read my impressions here) was the battle system, which feels like a zippier version of the one featured in Bravely Default and Second. Really, though, every component of this teaser blew me away--even its much maligned "vignette" filter. I guess what I'm saying here is, barring some sort of disaster popping up between now and whenever it's released, expect to see the full game discussed in next year's version of this write-up.