So far, so meh: The latest Panzer Dragoon game will be a Kinect-only XBLA release

I seem to be the only person on the Internet who is disappointed by the fact that, according to a number of sources, Project Draco, the spiritual successor to Team Andromeda's Panzer Dragoon titles, will be a Kinect-only XBLA release.

Sure, it's great to hear that Yukio Futatsugi and Manabu Kusunoki, the two men chiefly responsible for the series' first three installments, are working on this Microsoft-backed iteration, too, but I highly doubt even that info will be enough to get me to invest in a Kinect between now and whenever Project Draco hits the XBLA service early next year.



Should its developers be so kind as to throw in an option that allows folks to play the game with a good, old-fashioned controller, though, I'll of course pick it up without a second thought.

Anyway, for more information on Project Draco, including a fairly in-depth description of how it's played, check out this NeoGAF post.

Yeesh

I just finished watching Microsoft's E3 2011 press conference. I wasn't impressed.

How unimpressed was I? Well, during the first third of the conference--which focused on creatively-barren sequels like Forza Motorsport 4, Gears of War 3, Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, a Halo: Combat Evolved remake and Modern Warfare 3--my face looked like this:

Don't get me wrong, none of the above-mentioned games looked bad. In fact, all of them looked quite good graphically. That said, their gameplay didn't appeal to me in any way. Of course, I've never been an FPS fan or a fan of racing games that aren't called F-Zero or Mario Kart, so I guess that shouldn't be considered a surprise.

The first third of Microsoft's conference wasn't a complete wash, though; Mass Effect 3 looked nice enough (although the voice controls via Kinect seemed a bit pointless), as did the next entry in the Tomb Raider series.

What did I think of the last two-thirds of the conference--which, aside from the oh-so-shocking (or not) last-second reveal of Halo 4, focused on Kinect titles? This photo does a pretty good job of summing up my thoughts:

Admittedly, Dance Central 2 looked cool. Also, the Wii Sports rip-off Kinect Sports: Season Two looked acceptable. (Laggy, but acceptable.) Other than those two titles, though, the Kinect portion of the conference was filled with yeesh-inducing announcements--like Lionhead's carriage-driving simulator, Fable: The Journey, and the laggy (there's that word again), on-rails Kinect Star Wars.

Will Sony's presser, which takes place later today at 5 pm Pacific, or Nintendo's, which starts tomorrow at 9 am Pacific, be less yeesh-worthy? I sure hope so.

Dear Harmonix: Please make a Lady Gaga version of this Dance Central ad for the US

Actually, I can't imagine enjoying a Lady Gaga version of the following ad even half as much as I enjoy the current, Kylie-fronted iteration, but Ms. Minogue probably isn't popular enough here in the States to make such an extravagant commercial worthwhile to the folks at Harmonix.



I'd ask for a Madonna version, but you know she'd never agree to such a thing. Even if she did, though, the folks behind the commercial surely would have to change up the story a bit, as La Ciccone would never allow herself to be locked in her dressing room like that.

(Via towleroad.com by way of joemygod.blogspot.com)

You know you want it: i-dong

Why waste your money buying Sony's Wii-esque Move controller or Microsoft's Kinect peripheral when you can have the best of both worlds (or not) for the low price of just $222?

That's all Chinese gamers will have to spend on the recently announced--and demoed, at the China Hi-Tech Fair that's currently taking place in Shenzhen, China--"i-dong" system. (Unfortunately, it doesn't yet have a release date.)

No, your eyes aren't deceiving you--the powers that be at Taishan Online Technology Co Ltd. actually gave their "motion controller system" a name that's more, er, phallic than "Wii." (An added bonus: The system's controller, right, looks like a sex toy if you squint a bit.)

As for how the whole thing works, well, it sounds like the Move-ish controller detects and reflects the infrared light that's sent out by the Kinect-esque sensor unit (which has to be connected to a PC or a set-top box), all of which allows users to play games or otherwise interact with their TVs.

(Via techon.nikkeibp.co.jp, by way of 1up.com)

Tweets of the day

If you're like me and you follow a lot of gaming folks on Twitter, you've likely seen a lot of Kinect-related tweets in the last few days.

As a result, the following tweet from Ian Bogost (posted about an hour ago) literally made me laugh out loud:

"The amount of Kinect coverage is completely out of control and possibly irresponsible."

(Actually, one of the Kinect-related tweets he posted yesterday was even funnier: "Kinect is like an alpaca for your Chevrolet. A universal remote for your ficus. A kleenex for your toilet paper.")



This tweet, from Gamasutra's Leigh Alexander, also made me chuckle:

"Ladies and gentlemen, today, we are all controllers. But do we want to be?"

All kidding aside, are any of you buying Kinect today? If so, let me know what you think of it. I'm curious!

Why I hate Kinect

OK, so "hate" probably is too strong of a word to use in this situation. I can say without hesitation, though, that I'm not a fan of the soon-to-be-released Xbox 360 peripheral.

Why? Honestly, it has nothing to do with me being anti-Microsoft or anti-Xbox 360. (Hell, I plan on buying an Xbox 360 before this generation is over--assuming the system drops below $149 at some point.)

I know I've made fun of Microsoft's "me too" (or maybe I should say "Wii too") Kinect ads and games (Kinect Sports, anyone?), but that's also not what has kept me from getting behind the company's controller-free product.



No, my problems with Kinect are: 1) the peripheral seems to be a buggy work in progress, and 2) the games--with the possible exception of Dance Central--seem boring and uninspired.

Granted, I've yet to go "hands on" with Kinect, so it's possible that both of the above-mentioned "problems" (especially the first one) will be proven to be anything but after it launches on Nov. 4.

See also: 'It's déjà vu all over again' and 'Let's try this again ...'

As the baddies in River City Ransom say: BARF!

What's worse than the crew at the Home Shopping Network trying to hock the Kinect? Nothing, if the following video is any indication.



Of course, I'm sure their attempts to sell the Wii and the PlayStation Move (man, I really wish Sony had called it 'Gem' instead) were similarly horrible.

See also: 'Oprah pushes Kinect, audience explodes'

Let's try this again ...

Remember how, about a month ago, I posted a pair of Kinect ads--which were promptly pulled from YouTube by the brass at Microsoft?

Well, new-and-supposedly-improved versions of those much-maligned ads have found their way back onto the Interwebs--and to my eyes they're just as uninspired as the previous batch.



Here, for instance, is the "new" Kinect Adventures! ad. And here's the "new" Kinect Sports (where's the exclamation point, Microsoft?) ad.

A third ad, which shows off the pricey peripheral's Minority Report-esque, gesture-and-voice controlled "dashboard," is more impressive, although I'm not sure that's saying much. (Watch it here.)

See also: 'It's déjà vu all over again' and 'No Kinect for you!' and 'This *almost* makes me want a Kinect'

Oprah pushes Kinect, audience explodes

Unfortunately, they didn't literally explode.



Will this tactic prompt soccer moms across the country to run out and pick up a Kinect (and, presumably, an Xbox 360) when the peripheral hits store shelves on Nov. 4? I highly doubt it, but you never know--the Power of OprahTM has helped sell stinkier turds in the past.

(By the way, a better version of the video above can be viewed here.)

Pre-order: Kinect Sensor with Kinect Adventures!

This *almost* makes me want a Kinect

Mark my words: Of all the games that will be released for and take advantage of Microsoft's Kinect peripheral later this year, Dance Central will create the most buzz--especially if videos like the one below are watched by enough potential customers.



Of course, whether or not the Harmonix-developed title will create enough buzz to prompt consumers to plop down $200 ($150 for Kinect and $50 for Dance Central) or even $400 (if they don't already own an Xbox 360) is another question entirely.

Pre-order: Kinect (with Kinect Adventures!) and Dance Central

No Kinect for you!

Well, the powers that be at Microsoft have pulled from YouTube the Kinect ads that were discussed in my last post. (Don't despair if you missed them; just imagine the following photo "enhanced" by lots of jittery, seizure-inducing effects.)



I'm not sure if they did it because they're hoping to surprise the masses with their amazing ads or because they decided the ads stunk. I'm guessing it's the former.

It's déjà vu all over again

How are the marketing folks at Microsoft going to sell their company's soon-to-be-released Kinect peripheral to the masses? Based on the ads below, the answer to that question seems to be "by aping Nintendo's Wii commercials." (Oh, and "by barely showing any gameplay footage.")

Here, for instance, is an ad for Kinect Joy Ride:



And here is an ad for Kinect Sports:



After watching both of the above, I can't help but wonder how many so-called casual gamers are going to walk into their local Best Buy stores on Nov. 4 and ask for "that new, hands-free Wii controller."

Raise your hand if you, too, forgot about the release of the PlayStation Move

While scanning NeoGAF this morning, I came across a thread about the PlayStation Move pack-in (and, let's be honest here, Wii Sports rip-off) Sports Champions.

Being the curious sort that I am, I clicked on said thread--and received quite a shock when I realized that the game was released late last week. (On Friday, to be more specific.) Honestly, I thought the game and peripheral were going to launch alongside Microsoft's Kinect this November.

Did anyone else completely forget about the release of the PlayStation Move? Conversely, did any of you pick up the peripheral-previously-called-Gem?

Buy: PlayStation Move Starter Bundle